Jesus...make me the Man that you want me to be...---> Newsboys

I suppose that song does have a dual meaning....for me anywayz =P So after somewhat (hehe.. fully) memorizing my Hamlet Sillioquy, i decided i couldnt let the first day of my eighteen-hood slip away without a post.

First off, I cant express how special everyone has made this day for me. I really thank my mom because she had this whole surprise bday thing for me....and a buncha awesome girls whom i absolutely adore showed up at my door....and i was utterly confused but if you know me...you know how much i love surprises and that i love my mom a million times that. So yeah... two things that i love went hand in hand today and wow.... i wish it was my 18th birthday everyday. I'm also thankful for my friends who wished me a happy birthday, gave me hug, and made me happy beyond words. While my sillilquy may be slowing oozing out of my brain now....i wont ever forget the day i turned 18. crap...that even sounds weird.

So today at the DPS when i renewed my license, the lady at the counter took one look at my old license and suddenly busted out in a rap version of "happy birthday to you....." It was pretty funny and neat....not every day the dps peeps sing to ya.

So reminiscing about the past eighteen years of my life....i remember the fond memories, the super people, my wonderful family, and most of all, my awesome God. When i think about God, i remember all that He has done for me. Each day he blesses me richly with SO much and i will never be able to express my gratitude. Not only am i happy for the good things in life, but I am most thankful for every challenge and obstacle God has placed in my life. The truth of the matter is, God knows me well, and through every tribulation, He's molded me into a stronger person.

It's funny...in the past few days, so much has happened, and God has revealed so much to me and even as we speak, He continues to challenge me. One of the greatest lessons i've learned before today is surrendering. As i've mentioned before, I know God is a God of fire who continually burns us....and through the pain we are refined. Well, i definitely think that surrendering is part of His fire. God asks that we surrender those things that hurt us to give up...those things that are so difficult to let go that if you didnt know God.... life probably could not go on. These past few days, I've really learned a lot about surrender...and how painful it is to do so. But because I love God and He loves me, He is worthy of surrender. Afterall, love is giving till it hurts. and life isnt about what you think is best for you...it's about trusting that God knows what is best for you and He's worthy to be given our all.

as weird as it may sound....i dont feel 17 anymore...and obviously im not. I guess it just really surprised me how God's prepared me to be a little older and perhaps even a little wiser.

my mom and dad got me card that says, "Happy Birthday, Just think- you're one year closer to looking like your mother!" what a great thought eh? hehe.. my mom's awesome.

so before i go study....just one more big huge THANK YOU!!!! For making my day amazing.