success

the pressing question: what is success measured in?

my family and i were eating shaved ice and we were discussing the horrifying truth that some parents have the tendency to compare their children. my baby sister hates it when my parents do it because it makes her feel like she has a lot to live up to. on the flip side, i feel like she's lucky to have me as a sister because my shoes aren't that big to fill. the little sister believes that i've had my share of being a successful student and that's all that success is.

amidst the debate, my conclusion to the pressing question was: success is measured in how good your relationship with your family is. i've heard that your family is the training ground for how you deal with life. how you handle your parents nagging, criticism, advice, rules and regulations are a reflection of how patient you are. your ability to do what you're told even when you dont want to, reflects the submission you'll show to authority in the future..your boss...pastor...team captain. i've also heard that how a guy treats his mom reflects how he'll treat his wife in the future and maybe that goes for gals and their dads too. family is also the place that you learn how to love. family are the people that can be the closest but hardest to love, maybe because even if you get mad at them and they get mad at you they have to keep you around anyway.

the thing is, sometimes our generation has a completely skewed idea of what love is. love is not just googlie eyes. love is not just romantic dinners on the beach. love is not just a diamond ring. love is not when you have someone to call for no reason. love is not a lot of things. so what is love?

i found one illustration from a friend's facebook

"I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. " - Good Will Hunting

another illustration from Jesus in John 13

"It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.
The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him."

much like success, love is not easy. i'm pretty touched by the image of Jesus washing his disciples feet. he was down on his knees, the position of a servant, and he did it without being asked. if loved was expressed through feet washing, that would be beautiful. and if you think about it, you'd have to really love someone to wrap yourself up in a towel, get down on your knees, and scrub the grime off of their dirty, crusty, fungus infested feet.

to elaborate on what i meant when i said that success is measured in how good your relationship with your family is, it's probably more accurately put if I said that success i measured in how well you love your family. so once again, what is love?

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
- 1 corinthians 13:4

it's hard to be patient and kind to your family but choosing to do it anyways is love. the arguements and times when my family and i dont see eye to eye aren't things to be envied and i certainly dont boast about them and the times that i've hurt my family are not things i'm proud of. so i guess that's love. i guess it also means that i havent been the most successful person in the world but there's definitely room to become more successful.

Live Free or Die Hard....


I had a really interesting conversation with a friend the other day. We concluded that as social workers, we have a very daunting occupation ahead of us. Who in their right mind chooses to help other people solve their life problems when one has many problems of their own? In the eyes of the world we are insane but then again, who isn't?

The conversation reminded me of the movie Live Free or Die Hard. In the movie, the young guy asks Bruce Wilis why he does what he does as a cop. Why he chooses to jump out of flying cars, jump in front of bullets, and all that cop-y stuff. Bruce Wilis said that he's just "that guy," if he doesnt do it, nobody will.

I think everyone is called to their future professions whether it's a chef, a missionary, or a garbage collector to be "that person." Everyone is "that guy" or "that girl." If everyone thought that there's someone else for the job then the job would never get done. If you don't do it, who will?