Bebo Norman - Nothing Without You
From the album Try

Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to praise You near enough
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out
Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Chorus:
All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You

Take my body and build it up
May it be broken as an offering of love
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
But I love You With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
And all the strength I can find

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
I have nothing

Take my time here on earth
And let it glorify all that You are worth
For I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing without You

where to next........


SPRING BREAK! the wildest time of the year.......in south padre

After a long week I am home. Along the way I've encountered some interesting things. I was studying in the piano lounge monday and I ran into this guy that was playing Coldplay pieces on the piano. About an hour of struggling through the pieces (by no means played poorly) he asked me to sing to one of the songs so he could make sure he was playing it right. Since we were the only two in the lounge it was kinda weird, but somehow it sounded like a good alternative to five hours of staring at my course packet. This act was probably the most far out thing I've done in a really long time. It was fun. I must say that singing is therapeutic. maybe that's why people sing in the shower.
Then the both of us go back to studying and this other guy walks into the lounge and he starts blarring classical music really loud with those monster head phones on. Then the coldplay guy goes back to the piano and plays a different song. The monster head phone guy goes up to coldplay guy and asks him how long he's been playing. Coldply guy responds that he has only been playing for TWO WEEKS! this guy was seriously amazing to have been playing for two weeks...but apparently he said his choir background did him some good with the quick self-taught piano skills. simply amazing.

Thursday was the best day ever. All my homework done. Prof Shorkey wasnt there but Prof Grant (whom I've heard many great things about) came to speak in our sw312 class. I think it was meant to be motivational or something...because she totally got me motivated. I think after her whole speech/ lesson, what have you, I was totally excited about going to my sw313 research class. If you've asked me about research class before, I can tell you that it's not that exciting. But as a result of prof Grant I can honestly say I have a deeper appreciation for that area of social work. I'd always known that research is a field essential to social work in order that you can better serve your clients' needs, or just to see if therapy is effective....but I dont feel I learn much from the class. But as I always say, it's a matter of perspective. I'm glad she come to my class and shared sucha firey passion for social work, definitely every little freshmans' encouragement to dig dipper into the field, to be challenged, and to see what we'll be up against.

This week has seriously taken a toll on my old age. I think it's time to just sit back relax and sleep without an alarm to wake me up. party hardy over break? you know it...me and my textbooks kicking it back.

anywhere but here........

some people think deep thoughts before they sleep. some people think deep thoughts when they shower. some people think deeps thoughts when they take a poo. where do you think deep thoughts?


ny job here is done....now i must study.

Cry in My Heart
-Starfield

artist note: "Honesty is all God wants from us. More than our attention, more than our money, more than our time...God is looking for honest responses to the challenges of scripture and the still small voice that reverberates within everyone that knows him. Cry in my heart is my attempt to be honest...truly honest...It's a simple prayer from the heart of a God chaser that struggles with unbelief and doubt...That wants substance, depth and clarity...that has seen and tasted great things – yet still yearns for more...for lasting...for real."

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head

running on 36 hours......

watched the movie Ray tonight. Enjoyable, but long. There's something about African American culture that intrigues me. There's something inspirational about the music, about the history, and about the people. Thinkng about African American culture reminds me of the past and how they are an example of hard-hit racism in the U.S. That thought always reminds me that racism isn't over. The fight isn't won. All around me, I hear the remarks and the jokes. I'm guilty of them too. We have become desensitized to the derogatory racist remarks and jesting. A speaker came to one of my classes once and they said that when you don't think something is right, dont encourage it, speak up against it. Will you stop your friend the next time they say something offensive about a group of people?

Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time.
- Chinese Proverb

So now I will tell you the story of my life. Last night I went to sleep the same time I would have gotten up in the morning for school in 9th grade to catch a bus. After casually strolling to class, I arrived at my glorious seat in "class that I can never remember the name of." Listened to several geneology presentations, as well as my professor going off on his soap box for 50 minutes(like every other tuesday and thursday), at the same time studying for the next class. Despite my complete lack of energy, I manage to complete my 50 question test with time to spare and retreat to my room. After a good 50 minutes, I trekked up that wicked hill to GAR. Many thoughts plowed through my head as we discussed "Rabbit in the Moon" but my apathy left me with no remarks and my professors assumption that I "had not viewed the movie," a flaw in the discussion system. Brain dead, I made my jolly way back to Jester and decided it would be wise to treat myself to a nice hot cappuccino, acknowledging that no immedate results come from caffeine consumption. Returning to my room, I immediately plopped into my bed, but no deep slumber came. The cappuccino had worked....and I couldn't fall asleep. The good news? I watched Full House =) haha...did you think I would be sharing something juicy about my life? Having Justine as my roomie is about as juicy as it gets. hehe....*slaps knee*

that's all folks.

life as a sigh........

It's nice to do some writing that gives me a degree of freedom. I've finally been liberated from my five page paper that I stupidly thought was single spaced. Doh. But praise God that it was double spaced or I would have injured myself writing it.

Yesterday, as I was catching up with reading for sociology, I finally read about the 6 degrees of connection. Apparently, something like every sixth person you know allows you to be connected to the rest of the world. I'm always saying that "we're all connected." Now my studies have confirmed this assertion. Just the other weekend, I was talking to someone about who they live with in their appartment and they told me it was their cousin whom I didnt know. The next day I get into the car of this new person that I met from my volunteer place and that was the cousin. talk about small world. Then a while after that, I'm eating at tap house with some of the cool older gals and we run into Toral ....and it turns out that Ruth is her neighbor...who would have thought? So remember everyone is only six degrees from knowing the world =)

I need a professional massage therapist. Ever wake up with a tight neck and back? Yeah...I miss how Isabel use to walk all over my back when she was a baby. I think she's a little too big for that now. She wrote me a letter to tell me she loves me and that she likes it when I bring subway sandwiches to her when I'm home for the holidays. You know, I love being the older sister. Big sisters totally rock.

Remember.......

"For God so loVed the world,

That He gAve

His onLy

BegottEn

SoN

That whosever

Believeth In Him

Should Not perish,

But have Everlasting life."

John 3:16

coincidence? I think not =)

eye of the beholder......

funny how i was naive enough to believe I'd get anything done in this relaxation haven know as my house. Besides all the new years hustle and bust (for those of you who didn't know, chinese new years is actually 15 days long) I haven't really been doing anything productive. I've been taking advantage of wireless internet (which I have back in my room in Austin also). I walk around the house attempting to write a paper on some Asian American topic only to realize that I no longer remember how to write a thesis. How was it I was once able to conjure up a thesis in the time span of one class period? I sit in my living room staring at my computer monitor dumb-founded, unable to make any progress on my paper. sad sad sad....oh what have I become?

I must say that being home in the presence of my family (and chinese food) definitely makes up for my lack of productivity, not to say that such behavior is excused. Whenever I'm at home I always fall asleep without ever remembering I did so. I woke up this morning at around 8 still dressed in the previous days clothing. I recall that occurring quite frequently in high school. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that the home is no longer a place that I can do work in. Coming home is a luxury time of relaxation. Though it is probably in vain that I'm going to attempt to write my paper (after a cat nap...which might last up to 4 hours) it's hardly any trouble to at least try. Afterall, I can't really put my finger on what else there is to do right now, but I know that in this place, I can undoubtedly find something. And the fact that Sunday is the sabbath doesnt really help...after 6 days of toiling after school....I need a nice long break right?

To those of you studious people out there cheers.

i wanna scream at the top of my lungs.......

so lately I've had a lack of inspiration to write for reasons I have yet to discover. A possible answer to this mystery is that I've been watching too much tv. Full House has captured my full attention. It's such a lighthearted show, definitely contrary to the drama of the popular shows today (watched one tree hill tonight....*sigh* ....such a good show gone sour). In some ways, watching Full House is therapeutic for me. After a long day of class, I come back to my room and just lounge arounge, sprawled blobbishly on my bed, switch on the idiot box, and participate in a mindless activity. It is that one hour of tv a day that I cheerish. Ohh...and I watched so much tv today that I even caught Usher on entertainment tv. He's a funny guy...hope to see him in person one of these days....though that may never happen..... the cd will have to suffice for now.

I had a God moment a while back. Actually it was the time of my last post. After my introspection about what it means to be called by God, I prayed and flipped open my devotional and Bible. In my mind I half expected to receive an answer from God that night. To my surprise, that was precisely what happened. The title of my devotion that night was "The Compelling Force of the Call." It's the little incidents like these that refresh my questioning mind. Whenever my heart is heavy I know the Father has answers for me. I also received some emails which I've posted on the "you've got mail" link over to the right. If I dont post here, I most likely post at that site.

I'm tired and about to go to the dean to ask for a vacation, but duty calls and reading is an endless cycle of life currently...it's funny how God answers prayers....I asked to read more and now the reading just wont go away...so now I must go attend to life =)

when the going gets tough the tough gets going.......

so my wonderful roomie and I were having a very interesting conversation and we came across an interesting question.

What does it mean to say "God is calling me to do such and such?" Some people hear God's voice and that seems like the literal definition of being "called," but what about the other people who don't hear his voice audibly? I feel like I've tossed that term in the air quite a bit, and while I'm convicted that I receive callings to do things, what does that really mean? Somehow, it seems like a phrase used to describe this unexplainable emotion or feeling which leads to a conviction or determination to execute some action.

Like Justine said to me, learning what it means to be called by God is a life-long process that we'll discover. I doubt there's a right answer for that. Afterall, God does speak to us in different ways under different circumstances. We just have to listen and obey.

AACM Talent Show
Sunday, Jan. 30th, 2005
8:00pm Union Ballroom
Art show in the Quadrangle Room 7:00pm

Benefiting International Justice Mission

on the way down.......

Today in my intro to Asian American studies class we had a heated discussion about "Tsunami Song." If you haven't heard any news about it, check out this article.

Tsunami song article

I dont exactly recall all that we talked about because my classmates were quite emotionally involved in their opinions, which resulted in a very circular converstaion. However, I must say that it was a very interesting and enlightening debate to listen to.

Something I found interesting that someone asked was how far can people go with "freedom of speech"? Most people think that that is a right purposefully granted by the Constitution, but where do you draw the line for possibly offensive comments?

Currently a student coalition on campus is writing a petition against the radio station that aired the song. Do you think that by writing a petition people are making the radio station the enemy? Is the radio station really the enemy?

Sometimes I find it a tragedy that racism is still apparent even in this century. I feel like we're not nearly aware enough of the opinions around us. It's a prized commodity to be complacent and unaware, leading that blissful existance of childhood. Unfortunately, as time goes on, the harsh realities of life kinda get tossed painfully into our faces. *throws hands up in the air* why cant we all just get along?

"I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world." John 16:33

"If Hitler Asked You to Electrocute a Stranger, would you? Prabably".....

That is the title of the article I just finished reading for my sociology class (by Philip Meyer). It was interesting and reminded me of when I learned about Stanley Milgram in psychology. I believe I'm totally entranced by the human psyche and the perplexity of our mind. The thing I like about psychology is learning about the explanation for things that happen or weird quirks that humans have. If you've never heard of Stanley Milgram, I highly recommend reading about his experiments on obedience or just looking up the article I headed for this entry, I guarantee you'll be englightened. Sad to say, I regret selling my psychology book, now I'll never know if I would have read that textbook for fun.

I have this theory about horoscopes. It's highly possible that someone out there has written ariticles about such things, but I was just having some random thoughts a while back pertaining to this topic. I was talking to someone a while back and we came across the topic of horoscopes. The question arose as to why God would create horoscopes if there wasn't an imp of truth to them? I mean sometimes the things that they write in seventeen magazine seem so correct and the predictions are so accurrate right?

One day in psychology, during one of my prof's infamous class demonstrations, he called on a chinese gal to be his experimentee of choice. He told our class that he could read someone's "type" by just looking at them. My professor started "reading" the girl and he said something about how she came from a family who wanted to her to succeed in life, they wanted to her have a prestigious job in the future, work hard, get good grades, and yada yada. After everything had been said and done, he asked the girl if the stuff he'd said was correct. Slightly surprised, the girl nodded her head and proceeded to return to her seat. When she had returned to her seat, my prof admitted to not actually being able to "read" people, in actuality he was making generalizations about 80%+ of the population of all people. So if my prof had 100 students in his class, 80 of them would probably have nodded their head just like the girl had.

I think horoscopes are just like that. They make 12 or so generalizations that apply to the majority of the population and cause people to believe that there is some truth to them. I think they also tend to pose ideas for you to fulfill the horoscope to further ones belief in them. Magazines can write anything and the chances of that prediction applying to such a large population is pretty high and then will that girl or guy go on believing that horoscopes are reliable and accurate?

well that was my random entry for the week. Hope you have a wonderful week, stay warm, and enjoy the great outdoors!

where did all the cows go..........

this semester has started off pretty well. I would say that my schedule is totally kick booty and I'm more than thankful for that. Although all my classes seem like they'll be very labor intensive, I'm looking foward to learning new and interesting, thought provoking things. However, I have found that some of my inter-human relationships have changed. Instead of the good quality communication I've once experienced, a common tendency now is for people to tell me to just read their xangas/ blogs/ whatever you name it. It saddens me already that talking on aim...and using JUST words in itself isn't real 100% conversation, but it deeply cuts my heart when time and time again, communication ceases at the phrase, "just go read my xanga to find out." I have mixed feelings about online journals. What purpose are they suppose to serve again?

On the topic of serve...Lately, I've been thinking about how we serve God and how we really know what he's called us to. Sometimes it's hard to discern whether you're being called to do something because you want to do it, or if it's truly the place you've been led to. It's nice when the things you're called to do are also the things you like to do, but what about when what God wants you to do is the complete opposite of what you'd hoped for?

Our lives are an act of worship to God. The service we offer in our lives is what we bring to our relationship with God. When serving becomes a natural part of our lives, we'll be able to better distinguish God's voice. I think it's the ultimate service to God when we can geniunely serve with absolute love for him because we come to understand a little more of the nature of God. Maybe it's when we serve out of love that we can truly see what God's calling for our lives is.

I have my doubts about the road I walk, but I know that if I listen to God, hide my heart in His, I'm gonna be headed right where he wants me to be.

happy new years........

my lack of blogging is a devastation to myself. Therefore I shall leave you with this: winter break photos have been updated on imagestation....so click the new pic link

Justine's universal username: alwaysguest
Justine's universal password: 123456

hope your first day of class was off the hook. \m/

you will always be my boo.....

so according to my cousin's email...I officially have hearing problems. If you've been around me during my deaf moments...you know that I'm utterly hearing impared. I guess now it's official. And the saddest part is I don't really listen to loud music or talk on the phone too much *sigh* So if you wanna check how the world and its noise has affected your hearing, check this link out. Hope your results weren't half as disappointing as mine.

are you going deaf?

riding my bike in the winter........


on such a friday, some of the fish ventured on a road trip to ..dun dun dun....Clear Lake

point of grace........

yet another year gone by and another day to live. Might be cutting those days short by being up so late.

nothing beats the second day of the year reflection. Although according to tradition, I'm a day ahead of myself. Usually, Jan 3rd is the designated day to resolute and reflect, but I thought maybe I'd change things up a bit in 2005, just for excitement.

This time last year, I was just about finished with the whole college app process. In retrospect, I'm still thankful that's over. through that gruesome period in my life, I've realized that it's possible to not over-procrastinate. It was good discipline practiced before the college days, when the work that needs to be done is seemingly more important than the hs years. With all the college business said and done, second semester was still a whirlwind of it's own. It was a downward spiral in many aspects of my life. One bad thing happened after another, probably as a result of putting my time with God on the shelf. Sometimes I think, the less God is a part of your life, the more he'll do to try to make you acknowledge that He needs to be. It's easy to think that God's far away in burdened times, but then I think about the poem Footprints. In those moments where we experience the low points, it's then that He carries us. I think, we struggle because sometimes that's what we need to acknowledge the fact that God is near. Despite that single flaw of second semester, I've loved too many moments of this past year to count. I think the best thing about this year was how my family and I began to deepen our understanding of what it means to value our familyship. The older you get, the less time you have to spend with your family. Reason being, the more years you have behind you, the more people you know, the more engagements you have, the more obligations you have to fulfill, the more stuff you have to do that pushes family back behind it all. That is one reason why I love being home, and even if my family isnt hanging out together, their mere presence is refreshing. Everything happens for the good of those who love Him, and life wouldnt be life without the ups and downs. In a nutshell, it was an edifying year.

Thinking about resolution of last year. I was smart, and only had one. Did I keep it? I think it was more of something I learned versus something to change. The resolution was freeing my heart, theme of last years winter getaway. I think the resolution turned out to be more of a freeing of the mind. This past year has brought many insightful moments across my path. Many people, as well as experiences have changed the mold of my thinking, and overall expansion of my mind. As for freeing my heart, I know that that is a constant process in itself. There are so many things that we love in the world, that bind us like prisoners; and the freedom from them lessens as we grow into the heart of God. I hope to continue that process, daily freeing my heart from the ways of the world, so that I can live for something greater.

So what am I resolute about this year? Pretty high on the list is to find joy in the gifts that God gives me. When it comes down to it, not every gift that God gives us is hinky dory. There are those qualities about you, characteristics of your life, all gifts from God, which you wish you sometimes didn't have to be blessfully burdened with. In all that He has given me and made me to be, I want to find joy. Oh, and another very important resolution is to read more. I've made some progress in that area. I've already finished reading one book over break. Despite the fact that it was A Wrinkle In Time, I must say that the book won a newbery honor, and it was worth every minute I spent reading it =) I also urge you all to enlighten yourselves to at least one good book this year.... is that too much to ask?

2004 passed with memories to last a lifetime.... make 2005 count...have a good one.

mary's cow.....

so we're eating at Maggiano's and J-E asks me if Mary Had A Little Lamb had something to do with Jesus....and as we dissected that song.....it rang a little Jesus music in our ears.

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb (Mary, mother of Jesus had a little lamb, the lamb of God who was to be slain for all our transgressions) (x2)

Marry had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow (white, the color of purity, Jesus, God's son -- the sinless)

Everywhere that Mary went the Lamb was sure to go (Jesus was always with her just like he's always with us.)

that's pretty cool how a simple children's song can have such divine implications when you read the lines in another light.

and that ladies and gentlemen, concludes my blogging for the rest of the year. Merry belated Christmas and a happy New Year to all....and to all a good night. =)

a wrinkle in time......

ode to a wonderful semester. Here are just SOME of the fond memories I've made. A picture's worth a thousand words no?

In the beginning there was EKG...awesome girls....awesome small group.



Good thing the number of students in the school of social work is small...hopefully I'll be seeing more of my wonderful fig gals.



hidey hoedown...danced the night away



Homedawg Coming 2004


one more time....run *clap clap* dive *clap clap* DuuuCk TAAaape....


fish pond at AACM retreat =)



A taste of the sweetness in Sugar Land during Thanksgiving leftover feast at Pecan park.



celebration of old age



SB SG at the Hula Hut....last reunion before the break



pleasant visits from our SA pals =)


HEB pies are mighty tasty.....=D



each moment a blessing, thank God for yet another day to live. May all your days be merry and bright....and hopefully your Christmases will be white....

really Hot or really Not?

In light of the holiday season here is the picture of the day.... when Sam and Lawrence were on their hot date. (Lawrence was voted: most likely to date Sam....so here we have it folks)



hope your holidays are merry...and remember to vote: really hot or really not?

stop fishing.......

Photographs are often images of the most memorable, fond moments in life (that is unless you are my parents, who thoroughly enjoy the agony of their crying child and take pictures as momentos for future humiliation and shame =)). A blog is sorta like that sometimes. People take those moments that are most memorable and write them out so they can share it as an image to others the joy that they experience. obviously, if it's happy business, you cant hold it in right? However, blogs also have the opposing function of photos, they instead capture what you don't see in the pictures. Funny how people can be so open when typing versus verbal vulnerability in person. Is there some psychology to go with that?

sour patch kids and swedish fish are up there on the candy chain.

randomness is a state of mind?

quote of the day: "If you can carry a good conversation, I'll do my best to entertain you."

The winter break is one week gone, are you still alive?

red fish blue fish one fish two fish.......

I finally watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. everyone has those events in their lives that they wish to erase. what if it was possible to take from your memory that person or those things that you wish to forget? initially thinking, it's logical to conclude that our lives would be better of if there really was an institute that could give you a clean slate from those memories. But instead would we, like Jim Carey in the movie, wish to keep the suddenly fading retrospections? Isn't it true that most of the time there are fond memories to counterbalance the painful ones? Why do we usually come out of the picture with only the painful ones that only time will heal? I thoroughly enjoyed that movie, you should go watch it if you have not =)

This past week was movie madness for my cousin and I. We also watched Cold Mountain. It's tedious in the middle (cousin started snoring), but worth staying awake for the end. In a nutshell, it's about a story of how love at first sight can change your life.... or make you risk it.... as well as how emotionally scaring war can be for everyone... and how sad it was that our great nation was once divided. Yet another movie I recommend watching....but then again...i like lots of movies.

Dodgeball was another story. It was somewhat funny, entertaining....but not my favorite movie. I must say that I would rather wisely invest my time watching David Zoolander than White Goodman anyday. I'm not sure if I'd recommend this movie...view at your own discretion...or if you just like that kind of humor....which i tend not to appreciate so much.

I'm still at a loss for words that my first semester as a big Fish is over. Not only do I not feel older (rather the opposite), but the fact that some of my childhood buds are graduating in less than a semester is wild. It's a strange thought that the little kids I use to play handball with outside my garage door is going to grad school. Not to mention my cousin is graduating soon too. Tonight, we were looking through old childhood pictures and we found one of when she was five and i was three....shoot we look exactly the same, just the proportions are little blown up now. Is time suppose to pass by more quickly when you're in college? I hear you seem to feel like you age more quickly too. Good thing this past semester has made me feel more youthful, I bet it's cuz Juice is sucha kid and it's rubbin off on me =P Besides that this semester has been great. Sure it's had it's ups and downs, but definitely life changing in a positive way. Reflecting on this past semester, I know one thing for sure....drawing close to God is your problem free philosophy =)

enjoy break and dont fret too much about the little things....there are bigger problems in the world besides yourself.

black knight........

soo i went to pick up my cousin today. And it was totally cool, cuz she looks the same as she did the last time I saw her (which was when I was 5 and she was 7). I find that with all my family members, no matter how long we haven't seen each other (or even if we've never seen each other before) we click pretty well, and it always seems like we've been friends for a long time. There's something about having blood relations that automatically allows you to be stupid and ridiculous with them. However, I think my cousin and I are about three times removed, but distantly related in some distant cousin kind of way.

Not that I take things as signs, but I thought something was strange today. In the course of about 6 to 7 hours, three different people, on three different occassions, said "good life". They either said, "we live a good life" "you live a good life" or "I live a good life". I didn't think that saying "good life" was so common. So then I thought about the concept of "good life." The more I think about it, the more "good" I feel like my life currently is. However, that is always a scary thought. Everytime things are going well in my life, I get hit by rocks (not literally, more in a metaphoric kind of sense). Things either start turning for the worse, or I come to some uncanny revelation about my life. Nevertheless, amidst all the problems, life is always still good. It's all in perspective. I have more than I could ever ask for or imagine. Good life.... what does that really mean?

FREEDOM!

i like the option of bumming around. sooo home sweeeet home. Home is where the family is. It's weird coming home and my room is a mess; even though I cleaned it before I left after thanxgiving. I will be venturing early in the morning to pick up my cousin that I have not seen since I was 5. We use to be really good friends cuz we have all these pictures together in photo albums....i wonder how I'm suppose to recognize her when I pick her up......

have a nice day =)

cuz it's all in my head replaying over and over again.........

if the time i invested in reading web logs was used for studying or reading the books i planned to finish this semester, I'd probably be really book smart. If you know me, you know I like to spit out random facts of the day ever so often. I like to learn, what can I say? However, I do think that the time invested in reading blogs is worth it. In many respects it's nice to know what other people think about particular things, and understand a little of how you think about the same subject. It's enjoyable to keep up with peoples' lives that you dont get to see often, especially when many people like to share about what has been happening to them. (just to let you in on a little secret, according to the books that I read....Heart of Darkness...*cough* cough* people enjoy reading about the lives of other people.....quacky the impact that horrible book has on me) In fact, it's even nice to know what's going on in peoples' lives that you see all the time. There's never enough hours in the day to express all the stuff that happens in ones life...and that somehow gets expressed through these web journal dealios.

Have you ever heard of the Melancholy Music Syndrome? Perhaps you have not, or you may unknowingly suffer from it. People who suffer from this syndrome often listen to sappy, sad, sentimental, hopeless-romantic, boys singing about girls, breaking up stuff, and other such like music, at the wee hours of the morning, when your brain is just blazing with thoughts. Soon the music (or just all of life's wrongs) conjures up some strong (often somewhat bitter) feelings about your life, people you see in your life, or life in general and you just dont feel like expressing those emotions to the "n" number of people you happen to be talking online with at the very moment; because none of them seem to be a worthy enough friend (or no one seems like a real friend) to share such intense feelings with....so the solution? Blogging of course. Sound familiar? Maybe it's just my imagination and no one can really relate to this imaginary, somewhat ludicrous disease. It's that emotion that stirs up when you're surrounded by a ton of people, yet you can be so alone in the world. When I read about the lives of people that fit this diagnosis, I feel helpless and pray hopefully that somehow they can see that all they need is the same Jesus that completes me. Of course....all things.....always easier said than done....and Im a pretty simple-minded person.....

yet it amazes me....that God wants to care for our problems. He wants us to lay down our burdens, our bitterness, and our pain....into His hands. There is Someone in the world who wants us to live at peace...who wants us to feel like there is something, there is someone, worth living for.....and by george He wants us to feel like there is Someone in this world that cares. People say that God isn't real, isn't there because we cant feel him, we can't see him. But family and friends (ate least those that actually love and care about us even though we may not think so) are tangible evidence of God's character....his love...encouragement... patience....and caring nature. Unbelievable right? I'm not saying that your friends and family are God...no....just a taste....a tiny morsel to savor...of what God is like. (at least all that is good)

you have been loved and cared for at some point, and let that be hope that there is Someone out there, in this seemingly hopeless world, that loves and cares for you.....and just maybe you'll discover that to be the Jesus that completes me.


"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:4

no one said the world is perfect.... must have been the reason why someone created the word perseverance, what would life be like if there was no such thing?

I'm rambling (and procrastinating) thanks for listening =) (I believe it's because someone cares in the world!) but you probably should be studying huh?

we can love because He first loved us....... (it's possible)

haha....that patagonia chicken sandwich is getting to me...I'm trying too hard to be uplifting when this is all a buncha jibber jabber to many.....I'm sure.

we all could use a little more Jesus music in our lives

"Each birthday that God gives us is a sign of His great love, a gift that He bestows on us-- A blessing from above."

These past 19 years (yes...I am 19....glasses wearing, hearing aid needing, memory losing old fart....so that would make all you 20 yr olds out there....what? jk!) have truly been a blessing. I feel like my birthday is always a second thanksgiving. I have so much to be grateful for, and yet I have nothing to say, or I just cant say enough to express the appreciation I have to live the life that I have been given. There's much thanks to the people, for the things, and to God that have filled the past almost two decades of my life. A huge hug to everyone who made my first day as a 19 yr old super awesome. Thanx for all the bday wishes and phone calls!

oooo never had a cookie cake...perdy cool lookin eh? (and if u look carefully...I'm only turning 17 =P)


i'm impressed


you guys totally rock =)


and now thanks to Karen...I have been reminded....


It was kinda sad not being able to share my bday with my family for the first time in my life, especially since my mom and I always celebrate our bdays together. But my dad sent me a virtual bday cake, and I got to talk to my mom on the phone to wish her a happy bday, and my sister kissed me over the phone, and I enjoyed a very amazing memory to carry with me for many many days, months, and years to come!

my one shallow christmas wish...



I swear I'm talking about Louis Koo's jacket =P (but he does look nice in it right?) As his fan...I'm sad that he's even thinking about retiring from showbiz...why that would be like Brad retiring.

butterfly kisses after bedtime prayers.......

Reflecting on my classes this past semester, I've actually enjoyed them. It's strange how after taking bio so many times, I enjoyed it the most this time around. The insanity that college brings. Every class (with the exception of social stats) seems to have been of value to me. Justine and I have this interesting habit of sharing with one another the facinating facts we learn about in class. College really is an educational experience. I just hope I can say the same about next semester. It's not so important for me to take the easy classes for the grade anymore. I'd rather work hard to learn something valuable and interesting....cuz getting good grades is just another waste of time if I've worked hard to retain nothing.

Although, I didn't enjoy social stats, it will definitely be of some value in the future once I get into the field.... afterall...i sorta know how to use SPSS now! that....is an achievement. hm...or college is turning me back to my nerdhood. Intro to social work has led me to much self discovery and in some ways deepened my ability to think for myself. Psychology, learned a lot about the human psyche and many strange techniques on how to get people to like you.....haha. Biology....a lot of environmental awareness and how wasteful we are...how our ecosystem is deteriorating and many other startling truths that are affecting the future of mankind.

I guess our loss of innonce is due to the fact that we know too much as we age. We learn all these harsh realities of life and all the flaws of humanity. Thank God there is grace in the world and hope for the future. I like to think the grass is greener on the other side, blue skies after the rain, the glass is half full.... I don't want to be those people that lose that sense of child-like creativity as I age. the morbid thoughts of an aging teen.....my bad =P Getting older is a process of gaining experience and wisdom and fond memories....and you acquire more pictures in your albums...now that is an event worth celebrating.


be afraid...be very afraid... I like country music! =)

and with a thankful heart I bring my offering......

long time no post eh? My... how life's priorities have changed. It sure feels nice to be home again =) This will definitely be a weekend to catch up on the lost sleep from last weekend. However, my lost youthfulness of the previous weekend was totally worth it. Matt Wertz and Dave Barnes concert definitely increased my appreciation for acoustics. Homedawg coming was fun, kinda turned the hands of time back to high school...slightly more crazy dancing though. Then Charity Night of Giving at Barton Creek Square Mall was pretty fun too...got to chill with my social work gals AND we got to walk from Caesar Chavez all the way back to Jester in the sopping rain, not to mentioned i got to bring the worms stuck on my foot back to the dorm with me. To really top the weekend off, Justine and I ate an apple pie while we watched the ultimate movie Jason and the Argonauts.... now that is what I call a spectacular weekend. Then there was this week.....jam session in James's room and Sharktales to wee hours..S.B. sg jamming in jester east... and speed scrabble, squabble, and sloth till the crack of dawn (literally). So this break... I shall be eating and sleeping to my health like the resta you (hopefully).

Last night at Concert of Prayer, we got to share about the things we're thankful for. God is such a giving God; who constantly exceeds our expectations of what he pours out to us. Although, I mentioned several things that I"m thankful for, the list goes on...and I shall proceed to share a little more of what else it is I'm thankful for.

*All the older folk at UT: All of you have been the older siblings I've never had, always taking interest in our odd freshman-like behaviorisms and making sure we get our medicines when we get sick. Not only are we taken care of but a big thanks for taking the time to welcome us into the UT community this first semester. Definitely working out to be the home away from home.

*A big praise to God for teaching me to live more simply. Whenever I come home, I realize the degree of abundance to which we live. Everything that we need and so much more has been placed all under one roof. Being at college, I bring a minimal amount of stuff, share a bedroom with someone else, a bathroom with three people, and I don't really have a pantry full of junk food. In a sense, it's kind of like fasting. You don't know how much you actually need until you realize how little you can actually live on.

*My parents, who show me God's love in a tangible way.

I liked how John mentioned that we often thank God for what he gives us, but we can forget to thank him for being who he is, for the characteristics he posses. This season, dont just be thankful, but be a God-thanker.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!!!

building a mystery.......

it's funny how the four of us in 54 and 56 can use an entire roll of toliet paper in one day. Four girl loads of pee and poo will do that ya know.....

it's raining hard outside. I can hear the thunder roar. Oh my....there are people running around in the rain out in the courtyard. I love rain but I wish it was cold.

Did you know that two cities in texas are on the top 10 US cities with the highest poverty rates? It's incredible...the stats you learn from social work.

yay for more male social workers. They can always use more in the field, so if you're a guy that doesn't know what they want to do in the future, please consider social work as a profession =)

I need to make a cultural dish...

ground beneath my feet.....

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." Ephesians 1:3

God blesses us so that we can bless others. If that is the case, what blessings we have to give. This has been one of the best weekends I've had since the school year started (dont get me wrong, I love Austin). Everytime I encounter a piece of home, whether it's visitors, food, or just being back in SL, I feel a sense of completeness ...although I'm never really lacking in anything. I like the familiarity of my family and how my bed always looks welcoming for me to rest upon. I like how my mom makes sure I get enough to eat and how my sister makes me play with her. Despite the change that has happened, and how time runs it's course here while I'm gone, something about the people I love never change.

SOoo... as I predicted, the little sister shook me awake at 10:30 (ungodly for a saturday, I know). However, I persisted my dormancy until around 11:45 when the sound of my mother's voice resonated the words "dim sum"....for who can resist the savory taste of good ole Houstonian canton traditions? In no time, I was ready and we mounted our trusty Windstar towards our destination. I must say that J2 will never satisfy my stomach the way dim sum can.

After a delicious meal and running into half my parents friends, we drove over to AMC. It's been a while since I've watched a movie with my family, and what movie could have been more fitting than The Incredibles? If you're wondering whether that movie is worth your buck...I've got five words for you...go see it for yourself! I think my dad and I scared the little kid next to me. There was this one part in the movie when we just busted out laughing, and we laughed so hard that both of us started crying (I get my laughing habits from my dad). The movie proceeded to be more enjoyable once we wiped the tears from my faces. After the movie, to top the evening off... I ate a homecooked potluck meal.

The remainder of the night was rather lonely, but eventful. I cannot emphasize how awesome of a store Target is.

So now what? Study...that's what. Studying at home is possible..... sometimes.

no one else.....

the mounting anticipation...the numbing in my toes....the emptiness in my stomach...all came down to one thing....I wanted to go home....and here I am =)

After seven weeks of not driving, I mad-womanly started my car and sped down williams trace. Upon arrival of my destination, I ran from the parking lot into the restaurant so my dad wouldn't see me through the glass wall of Chinese Cafe. I stealthily walked across the tile floor all the while shushing the adults, so they wouldn't ruin the surprise. The moment I clasped my arms around my dad's neck and uttered "happy birthday" his buddy took a picture and thus captured the surprised look on my beloved father's face. I remember the last time I left home, he almost cried...it's been a while since I've seen him smile like that. When I sat down to stuff my face with CHINESE FOOD...my dad told me that when he was finishing up dinner he felt kinda sad that I'd have to miss his birthday dinner (although he distinctively told me it would be okay to wait till thanksgiving to come home....never listen to your parents...the truth is they always want you to come home even when they say you should stay at school for no apparent reasons).

I thoroughly enjoyed dinner with my parents, Isabel, and parent's buddies. It's nice to be loved by home. I adore the feel of steering wheel between my palms...the scent of coolness in my room (and the fact that my dad vacuums it when I'm not there...and how my mom cleans my sink cuz it was gross)....saturday morning in your blanket dont wanna get up in the morning cuz you can stay in bed feeling.....hearing the interesting noises coming out of Odie as I strum it....chinese food!!!

Why did I have to grow up so fast?!?

36 CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

Dear brothers & sisters,

The earth is full of His unfailing love! Tony¡¦s blood count this week is exceptionally good and the blood test indicates his liver is still functioning well. He only has to work on his appetite and nausea, which happens the next two or three days after the treatment. Everything went well yesterday. They will do the CT scan on him to check if the chemo is working after two more treatments.

It was not till now that we totally discern how and why afflictions can turn into countless blessings! First of all, we found out our elder son is so thoughtful and caring! We are developing a much better relationship now. He is even financially supporting us. We never imagine this would happen so soon. We know God is working on him and we have been praying ceaselessly for his turning back to Him.

Then my brother-in-law, who came from Hong Kong to help us out, has made his decision to believe in Christ, and he is diligently reading and trying to understand God¡¦s Word.

One of Tony¡¦s sisters and some of our friends, who are not yet Christians, are willing to pray to God for Tony¡¦s healing. We are praying they will be touched by the Holy Spirit.

The Lord has sent so many angels to take care of us, they are not just sending us regards, but actually and continuously doing something to make our lives better. Some of them we hardly keep in touch or we don¡¦t even know before! God comforts us in all our tribulation, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble.

¡§My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.¡¨

How can we still be triumphant and thankful under intense pressure of suffering and hardship? We know this ¡§transcends all understanding¡¨. But we are holding the peace in Him, even in times of storm.

Please forward this to your fellowship so that everyone can pray for us. Also would you pray fervently for Norm Fong, a brother in our English congregation, who will be undergoing a major surgery Thursday morning. He is having cancer for the third time. This time is around his left eye. Please pray for a successful surgery or he could lose his sight.

Thanks again.

In Christ,
Rossana

How God is working in their family reminds me of how God worked in my family. Some of you know my grandmother passed away about a year ago and my grandfather has been having a rough time since. After her death, I was heart broken and not sure if I'd ever see her again, because I didn't know for certain if she had accepted Christ. She'd had a mild stroke, but the doctor's gave her the wrong medication that induced another stroke, which ended her life. I remember I didn't understand why it happened, or what good could come from the situation, but I trusted God's plan and how he always brings light to dark situations. My dad went back for the funeral and he was able to share the gospel with my grandfather, which struck curiousity within my uncle. Although, he's not yet a believer, the seeds been planted, and I can only keep praying. Another one of my uncles became a Christian in college and fell away due to lack of time, but after the incident, he started going to church again, and his wife even turned from being buddhist to Christianity. My dad's been back to see my grandfather three times since my grandma left him, and each time he keeps asking him if he's ready to accept Christ. He hasn't said that he will yet, and he's turning 90 in a month, but we keep our chin up cuz I know that through our prayers, God can penetrate his heart.

After it happened, I feel like time is short, and we only have so many opportunities to share our faith with people we care about. Sometimes sharing our faith with family members is the last thing on our mind...but it's something we as Christians can be thinking about...about eternity.

you are my sunshine......



saw a guy with a ice cream wrapper on his back at j2 today.....that made me laugh.

Tiff and I make some mean cheesecake. What can I say....Duck Tape...we're not only beasts on the field....but we are some pretty awesome individuals.

stay tuned.....pictures to come.

now it's time for some estudiando

when you say hi.....

after man weeks of thinking about going to kerbey lane, I finally went. Gingerbread pancakes are SO worth the long trek in the very cold weather down guadalupe. On top of that 2am excursion, study parties really blew this weekend away. I still can't believe I'm in college...the things we do.

Lately, God's been helping me understand a little more about prayer, Christian living, and suffering. What do you think ties those three things together? A lot of the time, I find myself sending too much time thinking about what to pray versus praying through the Spirit and laying all of life's circumstances at God's feet. If I didn't spend so much time thinking, maybe I would know what it is to experience praying in accordance to God's will....even when we pray, we want to be in control of our prayers. The concept is simple, but execution is hard: Let go and let God.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26

hm...Christian living and suffering....we often think about being persecuted for our faith, by non-Christians, but ever thought about being persecuted for your faith by your brothers and sisters in Christ? It's sad that sometimes how our Christian community is just as human as the next joe. Aren't we suppose to be set apart? The challenge comes in following Christ, rebuking your brothers for their actions out of love, and being shunned for doing so. Is there any way we win this?

for the love of the game.....

stats keeps me up....so I decided to post...since next week calls for some major nerdification =)

As most of you already know, the Duck Tape season came to a close this evening. I have to say I have never had so much fun playing football before. This season shined a whole new perspective on my views of the sport I once found too violent and dangerous. I can't say that view has changed much....just because too many people were injured this season (for there is no safe sport). Shawn was a great manager, he always made me feel like I knew what I was doing...even when I might not have. Defense...was awesome....nearly an unpenetrable line for the season. I've enjoyed getting to meet so many new faces and fellowshiping with new people through this footballin experience. I'm definitely glad that coed flag football was so eventful for me my frosh year at the U....which wouldn't have been made possible without Duck Tape...a blessing for sure. I don't know who paid for me to be on an IM team....in fact I wasn't completely sure if I'd been signed up....whoever you are thanks a bunch...but dont come asking for your $8 =)

I know I should be sad, and while I am, I'm also incredibly happy and thankful. I'm sad because we lost by a single poopy little point...and a lucky touchdown. However, I'm SO thankful that NO ONE got hurt this game. All throughout the game I kept repeating the same prayer, that everyone would leave the field unscathed. Praise the Lord.

Now I am tired...and SOOOO excited that it's 43 degrees outside ...wooohooo.

GO ROCK THE VOTE TOMORROW NOV 2nd....

So my uncle sent me an email. I now have a new little cousin .... my uncle's third son. I don't know his name or even if it's a he (that's just what the doctors predicted the baby would be....but I dont know...you cant ever tell the gender of a baby from the pictures). New family members are exciting =)

Come support Duck Tape....game: Wed 11/3 9pm

daylight savings has officially messed up my biological clock....as did this crazy but fun weekend. I can feel a few years coming off my lifespan.

I can't believe we're registering for classes this week.....freshman year needs to hold it's horses...

my head's feeling rather blah this evening....so maybe I'll update with something a little more insightful later this week. In any case..Praise God for the cooler weather....eat regularly and sleep regularly so you don't get sick! Who says a college kid can't be healthy?


Psalms 89:8
O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD , and your faithfulness surrounds you.

run *clap clap* DIVE *clap clap* DUCK TAPE!!! 

this was an email I received after coming home from the retreat. I thought it was cool how it kind of related to some of what we heard there. It's a great reminder of how we should not limit God's power, because there truly is no limit. The only reason we don't see some of these great miracles every single day of our lives is the fact that our imagination of what God can do is so humanly small. When we pray big prayers, He'll give us a story to tell as a testimony to what an amazing God he really is....

Isaiah 65:24
This beautiful story was written by a doctor who worked in South Africa...
One night I had worked hard to help a mother in the labor ward; but
inspite of all we could do, she died leaving us with a tiny premature
baby and a crying two-year-old daughter. We would have difficulty
keeping the baby alive; as we had no incubator (we had no electricity to
run an incubator). We also had no special feeding facilities.
Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with
treacherous drafts. One student midwife went for the box we had for
such babies and the cotton wool that the baby would be wrapped in.

Another went to stoke up the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came
back shortly in distress to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had
burst (rubber perishes easily in tropical climates).
"And it is our last hot water bottle!" she exclaimed. As in the West, it is no good crying over spilled milk, so in Central Africa it might be
considered no good crying over burst water bottles. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways.

"All right," I said, "put the baby as near the fire as you safely can, and sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from drafts. Your job is to keep the baby warm."
The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with any of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle, and that the baby could so easily die if it got chills. I also told them of the two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died.

During prayer time, one ten-year old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt conciseness of our African children. "Please, God" she prayed, "Send us a hot water bottle today. It'll be no good tomorrow, God, as the baby will be dead, so please send it this afternoon." While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added, "And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she'll know You really love her?"

As often with children's prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say, "Amen". I just did not believe that God could do this. Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything, the Bible says so. But there are limits, aren't there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by ending me a parcel from the homeland. I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever, received a parcel from home. Anyway, if anyone did send me a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator!

Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door. By the time I reached home, the car had gone, but there, on the verandah, was a large twenty-two pound parcel. I felt tears pricking my eyes. I could not open the parcel alone, so I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly.

Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box. From the top, I lifted out brightly colored, knitted jerseys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children looked a little bored. Then came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas - that would make a batch of buns for the weekend. Then, as I put my hand in again, I felt the.....could it really be? I grasped it and pulled it out yes, a brand new, rubber hot water bottle. I cried. I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He could.

Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, if God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly too!" Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully dressed dolly. Her eyes shone! She had never doubted! Looking up at me, she asked: "Can I go over with you and give this dolly to that little girl, so she'll know that Jesus really loves her?" Of course, "He replied"!

That parcel had been on the way for five whole months. Packed up by my former Sunday school class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God's prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. And one of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child - five months before, in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it "that afternoon.

"Before they call, I will answer" (Isaiah 65:24)

When you receive this, say the prayer, that's all you have to do. No strings attached. Just send it on to whomever you want - but do send it on. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue praying for one another. This awesome prayer takes less than a minute.

Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless my friends reading this. I ask You to minister to their spirit. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self doubting, release a renewed confidence to work through them. Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I ask You to give them understanding, guidance, and strength as they learn submission to Your leading. Where there is spiritual stagnation, I ask You to renew them by revealing Your nearness, and by drawing them into greater intimacy with You. Where there is fear, reveal Your love, and release to them Your courage. Where there is a sin blocking them, reveal it and break its hold over my friend's life. Bless their finances, give them greater vision, and raise up leaders and friends to support and encourage them. Give each of them discernment to recognize the evil forces around them, and reveal to them the power they have in You to defeat it. I ask You to do these things in Jesus' name. Amen

email from my hilarious CBS leader.....

BATHROOM HUMOR

Only a woman will TRULY relate to this (and husbands will better understand...)!

My mother was a fanatic about public bathrooms. When I was a little girl, she'd take me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a public toilet seat. Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consistedof balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. By this time, I'd have wet down my leg and we'd have to go home to change my clothes. That was a long time ago.

Even now, in my more "mature years, "The Stance" is excruciatingly difficult to maintain, especially when one's bladder is full. When you have to "go" in a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on Nelly's underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, who are also crossing their legs and smiling politely. You get closer and check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new fangled "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook if there was one but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly hang it around your neck (mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance." Ahhhh, relief. More relief.

But then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance" as your thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale. To take your mind off of your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you would have tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.

"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle, and sliding down, directly onto theinsidious toilet seat. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.

Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper -not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she knew, because you're certain that her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain thatsuddenly sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged off to China. At that point, you give up. You're soaked by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket, then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged and, at this point, no longer able to smile politely.

One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long as the Mississippi River!(Where was it when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this." As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has since entered, used and exited the men's restroom and read a copy of War and Peace while waiting for you. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who have ever had to deal with a public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other woman can hold the door and hand you Kleenex under the door.

season of the seasonal rut.....

have you ever felt that everything in your life was a complete scramble and it just seemed to be going perfectly opposite of perfect...leaving you hopeless, helpless, and depressed....feeling as if your world had been turned upside down and all of life as you knew it was at rock bottom?

At times, I feel like I have it bad. However, I truly believe that it's all in perspective. What about that child that's been molested? What about that family sufferining a loss? What about that little girl sold into prostitution? And what about the man who just found out he has terminal cancer? If you think about it that way, most of us have it pretty well off. What in our life is so bad that we just want to fall on our faces and slump our butts into depression? Just a thought....why did Jesus come to Earth again? He came to DIE so that we could have the most ABUNDANT life possible. Could you imagine waking up each morning knowing that your ultimate purpose on Earth was to die for every living soul past, present, and future? I mean, if that was my purpose in life wouldn't I feel like I have a big problem (then again I'm not Jesus). I'm curious, why aren't we living abundantly?

I think part of it has to do with our selfishness. Humanly speaking, none of us like it when things just don't go our way. We are very me-oriented people. It's so easy to make life self-centered versus God-centered. When God is the center of our everything, the soul purpose for which we live, all depression slowly fades away. Every trial and every joy is meant to bring abundance to our lives. Abundance is found in wisdom through circumstance, discovering God's character through experiences...which means living purposefully and noticing the little puzzle pieces that God places in our sight. Selfishness is such a small world.

There's so much in my life right now that makes me feel like it's growing in abundance. Not everyone has the opportunity of a college education, a loving family to run home to, authentic relationships that are a source of accountability, and physical health to be able to enjoy running and jumping in the great outdoors. The realization of being blessed takes away from Satan's lie that I have it really bad when it's all just part of filling life with more abundance.

Like I said, our self-centered worlds are so small....and facing the hard times are just a part of the character, faith building aspect of the larger God-centered world we want to be living in. What we experience is always a source of drawing us closer to God and feeling more abundant in our daily living =)

Don't worry I'm not depressed... I've just been feeling like there's a lot of unecessary unhappiness out in the streets.


"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

only in college do you find a hoard of boys staring at the idiot box watching family guy at 2am. once again, what am I doing here? =P

a great superhero of the past.....

Christopher Reeves past away recently, but no doubt Superman will continue to live in the hearts of many. Here's the article

http://channels.aimtoday.com/movies/story.jsp?maxphotos=5&phototerm=Christopher+Reeve&flok=FF-APO-1402&idq=/ff/story/0001%2F20041011%2F0543613028.htm&sc=1402&flok=NW_5-L5

Anyhow, before you graduate, you should definitely try jcl's caramel apple crumb walnut cheesecake. It's good.

waaazaooo.......

what a crazy cool weekend. We celebrated Juice's bday and I listened to her tell the "surprise" story to her family three different times in exactly the same manner cuz the Chen's are cute like that. =) Oh and she has got to be the worlds greatest trasher-taker-outer warrior in the world! But dont ask her to take your trash out, she's already been reserved by this here basement room, no sharing!

I saw the world's scariest piece of earwax this weekend....and it wasn't mine. I wish I had dry ear wax that would just fall out, but I was blessed with sticky. When was the last time your earwax fell out?

Today at EV we had this message on envy. The part of the message that really stuck out to me was the part about how envy can sometimes be a barrier to a genuine friendship. I've experienced genuine friendships in my life and it's true that you can share in their joys and in their sorrows and not envy. The beauty of authentic friendships is that once you've experienced them, you want others to experience it for themselves. No more of those petty friendships that last for a season and the next season you have a whole new posse. Making friends isn't like forming basketball teams, you dont trade your players, just like you don't trade in friends for different ones.

It's frustrating sometimes seeing how the definition of friends just encompasses telling secrets and being able to hang out. Of course I don't think there's anything wrong with those things, but do you ever wonder if there's more? Can these people truly be happy for you when they see you succeed or excel? I agree with what the speaker said about how sometimes sharing in sorrows comes more easily than sharing in joys. When you're down and discouraged, you can relate with someone; feeling your own share of pitty in the process. But when people experience joy because of a personal gain or achievement in life, they've acquired something you may not have, and it makes it hard sometimes to not sprout an imp of jealousy. And that's why I find Paul so admirable in the area of contentment and full satisfaction with being given all that he needed. Just be convicted, that if we need it, God will give it.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4: 10-13

When we have that kind of mentality in a friendship, we can share in the joys of those we love. So what was Paul's secret?

I also feel that the genuine relationships I have, have grown as a result of prayer. There's something SO powerful about prayer that brings people together. When you pray it's like saying, "yes God we come in agreement about your will, so now we're talking to you about it." I feel like there's a sense of oneness when people can come and pray together. I believe if God is ever asking you to take the next step in a superficial friendship, learn to pray with one another. So maybe the whole prayer thing isn't for you, and maybe you don't even pray. A few other things I value about my friendships is encouragment and support and not being afraid of getting bashed for honest, edifying criticism.
I love my friends and I know that if God didn't bring them into my life for a lifetime, I know it was or is to fulfill a reason, or maybe to show me something during a season. In any case, friends are always a blessing from someone who takes cares of all our needs, and yes....people need friends.

would it be great to have a friend like this? (This would be Paul describing Timothy)

Philippians 2:20 "I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare."

my favorite roomate is finally 18! wish her a juicey birthday =)

HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!

go tell it on the mountain......

It's been many hours and even some running, but I can still feel the turkey leg I consumed tonight in my stomach. Bottomless stomachs do not exist. I regret not finishing all of my grilled cheese sandwich; dont know when I'll get to eat one again. Is salad gaseous food?

I miss driving home and seeing the sunset back behind university blvd. If you live over there, go watch the sunset....it's truly priceless and it's something worth doing before you turn 60.

further insight on gay marriage issue: (it's an issue I think is important to our society and it's important what others think...so something else to think about and I'll silence a bit for now about gay marriage but anyhow, I'm sure I'll have more interesting social issues I find interesting to hear comments about from my sw class in the future.)


Love the sinner. Hate the sin. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. All sins lead to death, and being heterosexual does not make me less of a sinner than a homosexual is. I can love the homosexual. Loving them is one thing. However, agreeing with their "alternative lifestyle" is another.In Leviticus 18:22 God calls homosexual acts a detestable act. Most of the sexual sins listed in Leviticus 20 are punishable by death (including homosexuality, adultery, and bestiality). God completely annihilated Sodom and Gomorrah for their wickedness (Gen. 19:5-6). All throughout the Old Testament, whenever a city fell into deep sin, God judged them. God judged the cities of old. If indeed God is unchanging, who's to say that He won't judge the cities of today? As a Christian do we not have the right and good reason to fear God's judgment upon America?"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness" (Rom. 1:18).

In a Christian magazine I was reading about the upcoming election, same-sex marriage was a big topic. In an article, Alan Chambers, a former homosexual, writes:"I hope we are not so naive that we think their agenda stops with legalizing same-sex marriages. Ultimately, if this process is not stopped, the gaying of the United States will begin to affect religious freedom:-Churches will be forced to hire gay people in staff positions.-Christian broadcasters will be penalized or even shut down if they air programs that call homosexuality a sin.-Religious people will be jailed for violating "hate speech" laws--because they describe homosexuality as abnormal or immoral.I hope we wake up soon. The apathy that has gripped the church for so long has been costly...The moral crisis we face today is the result not of sinners running loose but rather of Christians remaining passive and prayerless.",

I think by allowing same-sex marriages, we are hurting the gay community rather than helping them. If the church starts to accept same-sex marriages, won't the gay community start to "reconcile homosexuality with Christianity?" Then they will start buying into the lie that homosexuality is merely an "alternative lifestyle." A different "sexual orientation." Are we beginning to forget the freedom that is promised in Christ (1 Corinth. 6:11)?Alan Chambers, the author I quoted earlier, was freed from his bondage of homosexuality through Christ. As Christians, we should proclaim freedom to homosexuals with LOVE. The gospel of Christ is not one of condemnation but one of forgiveness (Rom. 8:1-4). And Christ enables us to love homosexuals and approach them with compassion (not pity) and humility because our own sins also nailed Christ to the cross. Christ bled for the heterosexual and the homosexual. And homosexuality is definitely not the only thing that should be addressed.
The list of sins is endless in this adulterous, lustful, greedy, deceitful nation.This upcoming election is a crucial one. We need to pray heavily about issues like abortion and gay rights. May God guide your voting.

the day I fell in love with the weather.......

Did I ever tell you how much I love cold weather? Well....I love cold weather a ton. I think I was born to soak up coldness. Maybe that's why I enjoy cold showers. Can I get a holla from all them winter babies out there?

a simile for thought:

Praying is like exercising; we want fast, immediate results, but some things are worth waiting for.

I think it's the season for "I miss blah blah blah from high school." Most people had their little niche in high school, from choir to football, there was a thing that people liked, that made high school worth going to. Myself personally, I miss the track and I miss wearing my too-small spikes. It's a shame I didn't pick a sport I could grow old with. I've always been curious why after years of playing tennis, I never got into it. So I tell ya, the love for sports is definitely not genetic, cuz if you know my parents, you know they're tennisaholics. When I go home, remind me to go take a bounce on the brand spankin new rockin clements track. It'll be a party, you should come.

I really liked this and thought I'd share it with you (it pertains to my previous post).


I think that God's second commandment is what really matters here. Love your neighbor as yourself. I recently changed my views about the GLBT community. I am for gay marriages, because I believe that there is no doubt that 2 homosexual people can love each other just as much as a heterosexual couple can.

And if us as Christians want to show them the truth in God's love, shouldn't we love them and by loving them, respect their lifestyle, by agreeing to same-sex marriages..and other rights that homosexual couples don't have.

I think a homosexual person will be more likely to listen to someone who accepts them than someone who condemns them, and I think that thats what God commands us to do. If we love them as people and not as homosexuals, then I think God will take care of the rest. Okay I'm done. Heh, that was long, but thats what I think :)

P.S...COUNTRY MUSIC?? Ophi.....whats happened to you?? we must come save you!!

(working on stats hw and suddenly weather bug signals that the temperature is now 67 degrees outside. Juice turns to window and touches it)

Juice: It's cold *with an imp of cool weather anticipation*
Oph: Dear Lord please make it cold
Juice: Yes, I want to wear a jacket

It's less funny written out. I guess you just had to hear her interesting voice. My roomate is cool but I bet all our neighbors think we're strange....We have this tendency to say random things to our computers, don't deny it, you've done it before. I guess when you live with someone you come to discover all their strange quirks.

food for thought....
Today in my intro to sw class, we had a really interesting speaker. Basically the speaker came and shared with us about the agency that she works at. The work the speaker deals with includes those of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transexuals (glbt). The speaker was a lesbian and a co-teacher here at the university. One of the first things she addressed was how some people who are biological women, but lesbian, are offended when you call them a "she" "lady" "miss", so social workers have to learn the language of their clients and not place gender labels on them. An interesting fact about marriage licenses is that it gives you 1049 rights which non male and female couples are not entitled to. For example, if someone is sick, their partner is not allowed to go and see them, unlike married couples. If a GLBT couple gets married, they have to pay $10 for a name change, where as people with legal marriage certificates get them for free. When filing taxes, they have to say that they are single thus disabling social security benefits and many other major issues.

I admit that this makes going into the social work profession difficult. I'm not a glbt basher, but what do I really think about the issue? What do you think about gay rights? Being in this intro class has been great, it's helped me think about some of the issues that I'll be dealing with and struggling to find where my stance is now before I dig deeper into the profession. It's no joke when they say it's hard being a Christian social worker. I'm not even a social worker yet and I can see the trials that potentially lay ahead. I think it's important that people know what they stand for and not be afraid to ask awkward questions; that's how society progresses sometimes. But as a Christian, it's even more important to be grounded in the word and know what your faith is, what you really believe. If only the Lord made everything black and white, then life wouldn't be such a struggle. In a society that is rapidly changing, causing people to be okay with the way of the world, we need to learn to pray BIG prayers....cuz a pretty BIG God is listening. I know it's a touchy subject, but what does God think about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals? Please comment.

Beautiful beyond description......

My hearing came back, after Grace and Meson kindly told me how to fix my perhaps infected ear; go to the doctor and get antibiotics. I guess the Lord just wanted me to save $90. The ear is still a little fuzzy, but I guess that comes with the package of being deaf for a week.

Today was by far the most tiring, yet exciting, football game ever. It was definitely sweet victory. Run*clap clap* dive *clap clap* Duck Tape =) And kudos to the awesome cheer squad.

Now that I think about it, this was the most tiring weekend ever (even though I've only been around for 3 weekends...I think). For starters, battle of the sexes was pretty wild. I tell ya, boys and their competativeness....they just couldn't accept a tie. Given that the girls were a little more anxious about the number-of-fingers duel out, and a little more energy, we surely would have dominated the male species. However, we fought the good fight, and though we did not conquer, life goes on and all is well. After the tragic night, Juice and I awoke to join Emily, Xiao and Mel to waltz which abruptly ended due to football practice engagements, followed by the Upperclassmen girls taking out the frosh on a girl date to dinner and dessert. The night was futher prolonged at slosh and before the crack of dawn, my favorite roomate and I retired to our Jesterwest Basement connecting bath suite =) Bright and early the next day, the EV mob arrived at the beach for service in which worship and message was ever refreshing with the presence of the Lord. Hence returning to our residence, lunch was sought, as was nap, woke up, played football, won, ate food....and now I'm here.

I guess making phone calls to cool people and getting phone calls from cool people sort of topped off the weekend. Now I can rest easy and prepare myself for another fun-filled week of something wonderful.