point of grace........

yet another year gone by and another day to live. Might be cutting those days short by being up so late.

nothing beats the second day of the year reflection. Although according to tradition, I'm a day ahead of myself. Usually, Jan 3rd is the designated day to resolute and reflect, but I thought maybe I'd change things up a bit in 2005, just for excitement.

This time last year, I was just about finished with the whole college app process. In retrospect, I'm still thankful that's over. through that gruesome period in my life, I've realized that it's possible to not over-procrastinate. It was good discipline practiced before the college days, when the work that needs to be done is seemingly more important than the hs years. With all the college business said and done, second semester was still a whirlwind of it's own. It was a downward spiral in many aspects of my life. One bad thing happened after another, probably as a result of putting my time with God on the shelf. Sometimes I think, the less God is a part of your life, the more he'll do to try to make you acknowledge that He needs to be. It's easy to think that God's far away in burdened times, but then I think about the poem Footprints. In those moments where we experience the low points, it's then that He carries us. I think, we struggle because sometimes that's what we need to acknowledge the fact that God is near. Despite that single flaw of second semester, I've loved too many moments of this past year to count. I think the best thing about this year was how my family and I began to deepen our understanding of what it means to value our familyship. The older you get, the less time you have to spend with your family. Reason being, the more years you have behind you, the more people you know, the more engagements you have, the more obligations you have to fulfill, the more stuff you have to do that pushes family back behind it all. That is one reason why I love being home, and even if my family isnt hanging out together, their mere presence is refreshing. Everything happens for the good of those who love Him, and life wouldnt be life without the ups and downs. In a nutshell, it was an edifying year.

Thinking about resolution of last year. I was smart, and only had one. Did I keep it? I think it was more of something I learned versus something to change. The resolution was freeing my heart, theme of last years winter getaway. I think the resolution turned out to be more of a freeing of the mind. This past year has brought many insightful moments across my path. Many people, as well as experiences have changed the mold of my thinking, and overall expansion of my mind. As for freeing my heart, I know that that is a constant process in itself. There are so many things that we love in the world, that bind us like prisoners; and the freedom from them lessens as we grow into the heart of God. I hope to continue that process, daily freeing my heart from the ways of the world, so that I can live for something greater.

So what am I resolute about this year? Pretty high on the list is to find joy in the gifts that God gives me. When it comes down to it, not every gift that God gives us is hinky dory. There are those qualities about you, characteristics of your life, all gifts from God, which you wish you sometimes didn't have to be blessfully burdened with. In all that He has given me and made me to be, I want to find joy. Oh, and another very important resolution is to read more. I've made some progress in that area. I've already finished reading one book over break. Despite the fact that it was A Wrinkle In Time, I must say that the book won a newbery honor, and it was worth every minute I spent reading it =) I also urge you all to enlighten yourselves to at least one good book this year.... is that too much to ask?

2004 passed with memories to last a lifetime.... make 2005 count...have a good one.