the end is only a new beginning.....

encounters with God have inflicted both a deep sense of pain as well as feelings of everlasting joy in my life. Rec week was truly life-changing, but I'll get into that at another time when I've had a chance to digest what I've learned, what I've experiened. For now, my heart is heavy. God knows, better than anyone or anything in the world, the things I'm wrestling with in my soul. In those times that I've walked by faith, I've sought rest through prayer and I can say with deep conviction that God answers my prayers. In this past week, the moments that I've needed him the most, he has provided for me. God's provision showed itself in the form of answered prayers. When God seemed far away, he was able to draw me near by connecting my tears of sorrow with the broken heart that brought Jesus to his knees.

I don't believe that suffering is ever in vain. In suffering we make a discovery about God's character. When I doubt about God's goodness, God's faithfulness, it's often hard for me to see the purpose behind the plan. It's when I step back and take a look at myself and remember who HE is am I able to look back in my life and see the Ebenezers or the altars built in honor of God for the fulfillment of his promises.

Much like what we learned in the small group leaders track, our journey with Christ is not meant to be easy. The road to God's kingdom is narrow and takes a great deal of faith and strength to trek. When the going gets tough, we need to be assured of our calling to follow Christ. Just as Jesus' disciples so easily dropped all the possessions in their lives, can we too follow God with such obedience?

I know that God has done a good work in me. In the past I would have responded to a sense of God's absence with bitterness, hatred, and an unforgiving heart. Now, I've learned to yield those feelings to God and openly receive his comfort so that I may experience the joy that none other than our Father can give.

Psalms 23
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall
not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green
pastures,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of
righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow
of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will
follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the
LORD
forever.