success

the pressing question: what is success measured in?

my family and i were eating shaved ice and we were discussing the horrifying truth that some parents have the tendency to compare their children. my baby sister hates it when my parents do it because it makes her feel like she has a lot to live up to. on the flip side, i feel like she's lucky to have me as a sister because my shoes aren't that big to fill. the little sister believes that i've had my share of being a successful student and that's all that success is.

amidst the debate, my conclusion to the pressing question was: success is measured in how good your relationship with your family is. i've heard that your family is the training ground for how you deal with life. how you handle your parents nagging, criticism, advice, rules and regulations are a reflection of how patient you are. your ability to do what you're told even when you dont want to, reflects the submission you'll show to authority in the future..your boss...pastor...team captain. i've also heard that how a guy treats his mom reflects how he'll treat his wife in the future and maybe that goes for gals and their dads too. family is also the place that you learn how to love. family are the people that can be the closest but hardest to love, maybe because even if you get mad at them and they get mad at you they have to keep you around anyway.

the thing is, sometimes our generation has a completely skewed idea of what love is. love is not just googlie eyes. love is not just romantic dinners on the beach. love is not just a diamond ring. love is not when you have someone to call for no reason. love is not a lot of things. so what is love?

i found one illustration from a friend's facebook

"I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. " - Good Will Hunting

another illustration from Jesus in John 13

"It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.
The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him."

much like success, love is not easy. i'm pretty touched by the image of Jesus washing his disciples feet. he was down on his knees, the position of a servant, and he did it without being asked. if loved was expressed through feet washing, that would be beautiful. and if you think about it, you'd have to really love someone to wrap yourself up in a towel, get down on your knees, and scrub the grime off of their dirty, crusty, fungus infested feet.

to elaborate on what i meant when i said that success is measured in how good your relationship with your family is, it's probably more accurately put if I said that success i measured in how well you love your family. so once again, what is love?

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
- 1 corinthians 13:4

it's hard to be patient and kind to your family but choosing to do it anyways is love. the arguements and times when my family and i dont see eye to eye aren't things to be envied and i certainly dont boast about them and the times that i've hurt my family are not things i'm proud of. so i guess that's love. i guess it also means that i havent been the most successful person in the world but there's definitely room to become more successful.

Live Free or Die Hard....


I had a really interesting conversation with a friend the other day. We concluded that as social workers, we have a very daunting occupation ahead of us. Who in their right mind chooses to help other people solve their life problems when one has many problems of their own? In the eyes of the world we are insane but then again, who isn't?

The conversation reminded me of the movie Live Free or Die Hard. In the movie, the young guy asks Bruce Wilis why he does what he does as a cop. Why he chooses to jump out of flying cars, jump in front of bullets, and all that cop-y stuff. Bruce Wilis said that he's just "that guy," if he doesnt do it, nobody will.

I think everyone is called to their future professions whether it's a chef, a missionary, or a garbage collector to be "that person." Everyone is "that guy" or "that girl." If everyone thought that there's someone else for the job then the job would never get done. If you don't do it, who will?

got IMAX?

so i've been pulling my hair out trying to think of something blog worthy to write about and i may have come across something FINALLY.

sunday night i went to watch harry potter and the order of the phoenix at the IMAX for the full 3D experience. those of you who've been to the imax will know that when you watch for the 3D experience you're given a pair of 3D glasses. so i ask my dad what's so fancy about these glasses and he says that one lens is normal, like a pair of sunglasses, and the other lens does something to the images by 180 degrees causing a 3D image.

when the movie starts i look around and everyone is wearing their fancy smancy 3D glasses so like the good audience that i am, i put mine on too. soon i begin to realize that the movie looks about the same with or without the glasses and in fact, things seem a little bit more clear without the glasses so i decide to take the 3D glasses off. every once in a while i put the glasses on just in case i'm missing out on something the 100s of other people around me who are wearing glasses are seeing.

towards the end of the movie this glasses icon flashes on the screen signalling the audience to put on their 3D glasses. that's when it occurred to me and the rest of the audience that we didnt have to wear the 3D glasses until that symbol flashed. a huge surge of laughter was heard throughout the theater as the audience realized their lack of IMAX 3D experience experience.

after about 25 minutes or so an icon flashed signalling us to take our glasses off. let me tell you when that icon flashed, the theater of harry potter viewers felt like a buncha loonies....i know i did. i could only imagine what those people up in the room where the reel was rolling was thinking. they probably intentionally didn't tell us about the glasses icon so that they could get a kick out of all the crazies that wore their 3D glasses during the parts of the movie that didnt require them.

moral of the story is...never assume that you need to wear 3D glasses during a movie when the image looks the same with or without them because you could be terribly wrong. the good that came out of this experience is that i can now laugh at myself and share this knowledge with you.

revelation

after 2 months of blog haitus, I am back. What a long ride this year has been. One of the great defeats of this year has been blog neglect...which is what happens during the more busy times in my life.

Coming home after a long year and spending time with familiarity is definitely a breath of fresh air. One of the things that I really love about coming home is being able to put my sister to sleep.

I've noticed changes in her response to things that I ask her. After we do devotions together we pray and I'll ask her for prayer requests and she usually tells me things like "I hope everyone in our family has a good day tomorrow." I was dismayed and surprised when her response today was "I dont know." That seems to be her favorite phrase these days...but nonetheless these precious moments are treasured.

The passage that we read during her devotion was from Matthew 7:7-11
7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

The story that went with this verse was about a little girl who was sewing something and it wasn't working. She kept asking God to help her sewing machine work so that she could complete the stitch. The mom later comes to the aid of her struggling daughter and realizes that the spool of thread had been incorrectly placed in the sewing machine. Then the mom says to her daughter, "aren't you glad that God didn't answer your prayer the way that you wanted him to? If he had then you would have had to undo all of your sewing work and re-sew everything!"

Although this was a story for little kids, I realize that it has a lot of dept even for older people. It's easy to read something like Matthew 7:7-11 and think that God will answer anything we ask for, as long as we ask. But after reading this story it's clear that sometimes, the things that we ask for end up being unhelpful or harmful to ourselves and it turns out for the better that God didn't answer the prayer in a way that we intended for it to be answered.

Funny how we can frustrate over the way God answers our prayers when we don't understand the reason why things happened the way they did but when we finally see God's intentions, we can be thankful that God answered our prayers in the way that he did.

google is taking over the world.....


every few months that i update joey i find some sort of upgrade made to blogger. now google is invovled with it?! crazy....google really is taking over the world.

speaking of the world, I've recently realized how small my world is. It's one thing to see the world but another to experience it. When I look at my life I always feel like I've never been through seriously traumatic experiences or suffered deep ills in my life. For the most part I've been blessed ten fold.

Watching the news, reading the newspaper or hearing about world events can sometime make me feel disconnected with the news. It's always curious to wonder how we can live our lives each day, going about it knowing that someone is suffering from sickness, poverty or other injustices.

When I hear my social work professor talk about her client who was raped repeatedly each night by her brothers and experiencing the trauma of it now, makes my world bigger. When I hear about the average American going overseas on missions and delivering babies as a part of the trip it makes my world bigger. When i visit another country and see the faces of children feeling joy even though their stomachs are empty and their homes are not livable, it makes my world bigger.

It excites me to think about going into field work next semester because I know that my world is small and through experiencing what it's like to interact with those who deal with real problems day to day I can better understand the vast reality of how big this world is.

UT's first snow day

In February of 1899 there was an Arctic surge that brought 6 inches of snow to the south. Students awoke to a snow-covered campus during the days before telephones and email and six days of classes. So like any ordinary saturday morning, classes began at 8 a.m. Students went about their regular business only to be distracted by the snow! They held the president hostage with snowballs and fired a cannon to bring the entire campus to get a holiday for having snow in Texas. So, this is a picture of that fateful day =)

oh the questions we will ask.........

i always have really mixed feelings about filling out questionnaires. they're always tedious and require much strain on the brain. however, i always feel so much more enlightened after filling one out. as a result of questionnaires i'm able to realize more about myself than i had never thought of before.

i always have mixed feelings about those questions that deal with your strenghts and weaknesses and I ususally get stumped by those questions that ask me about the greatest challenges in my life. More recently, I've come across questions dealing with my encounters with cultural diversity. In the past when I thought about that question, my mind would rewind back to mission trips or moving around a lot as a kid. Now when I think of an answer to that question I'm reminded of the orientation program.

The irony of orientation is that I don't feel like I got most of what I went there to get but at the same time I didnt leave the experience empty-handed. It's funny that it's taken me nearly half a year to debrief this experience. After it ended I really wasn't sure what to make of it. Now that it's winter break I finally have sometime to sit down and process everything.

I met many great people and was exposed to multiple schools of thought. I was challenged for my beliefs and respected for them. The experience thought me how to deal with conflict and resolve differences between people. I was forced to take on leadership roles and be a representative of something greater than myself. Constantly, I was put into uncomfortable situations and was expected to make the right choices. All summer the orientation staff joked about filming our lives at orientation like the Real World series....the drama, the conflict, the romance, the action, the cursing, the hot girls, you name it....we had it. Orientation was truly a real world experience. Too bad it's taken me this long to sell this experience to the world...otherwise I could have made better efforts to recruit people to orientation.

It's taken me a while to realize why I was given the opportunity to be a part of orientation. At the fall aacm retreat I constantly heard people sharing about how significant things happened for them at orientation. Interestingly, I felt joy thinking about how I was inadvertantly present during those significant moments. Somehow I think we're always at the right place at the right time, we just don't know it till it's over.

happy new year?

as is with traditions, once the festivities have pasted I make new years resolutions the second day of the year. considering that i only have an hour left of the 2nd, i should make this snappy.

just got back from urbana tired, brain-clogged, enlightened, and congested. i had the worst plane ride experience of my life. after consultation with a few doctors, they came to the conclusion that the knife i felt jabbing down my ears during the plane descent was due to congestion of the ear/mouth/nose areas resulting in my ears' inability to release the pressure that was building up. my eyes watered up and my head felt like it was about to explode. after much prayer and about 45 minutes of suffering we landed. praise God.

so now partially deaf for a few days, i can take the time to process the goings on of urbana. many people that had gone to urbana before always said that urbana would be an experience that would change your life in dramatic ways. while for many the dramatic changes happened instananeously, many others may not see the dramatic change for many years to come. although i dont feel like my life has been dramatically changed, i can see how some of the things that i learned or the ideas that i felt God had bestowed in my mind will one day change my life.

one thing i took away with me from urbana is that the greatest temptation in any kind of relationship is to want to change the person into someone that you want them to be but ultimately God simply calls us to love them. This statement was in regards to the kind of attitude we should have in the area of missions. when we want to change people, that prevents us from valuing the person for who God created them to be. there's a fine line between wanting to change someone's habits and changing their character but at times either one may not be what should be done. i find that the disappointment of missions can sometimes be the expectation that going on a mission trip will change something about the people being served but then nothing appears to happen. i think those expectations can be thwarted when understanding that God calls us on a mission to show love to those who may never have experienced it to the fullest in their lives. afterall God is love, no?

so i guess my resolution this year is to learn how to view missions in the perspective of love. in a tangible way i hope to keep up better with current events so that i can learn to love people outside the little bubble i live in.

the last kiss.....

i had a conversation with a friend this past semester and something really stuck with me and it's something that i think about every so often.

in the last kiss, Zack Braff cheats on his girlfriend and then goes to her house to try and win her back. When she gets there he finds her dad who asks him what reason Zack Braff's character can give him to show that he deserved to have his daughter back. In response he said that he really really really really loved her in the deepest way possible (or something like that, i haven't actually seen the movie) but in a nutshell he expressed that he had this profound feeling of love for her. To what he said, the father told him that the love that he felt for his daughter was something that only he could feel. he can tell the daughter that he loved her but she would never know how much he loved her through spoken words describing the feeling.

sometimes i wonder if the feelings that i experience for the people in my life are something that only i possess or do they recognize it too? and for myself i often wonder if i'm too easily convinced or if i truly experience the positive emotions that people have for me.

maybe the reason why people like birthdays so much, beyond just feeling special, is knowing that people have positive regard for you. The act of celebrating someone shows them how you feel about them. I admit that i really love receiving presents but most of the time, the greatest gift received is time.

with presents you give thoughts because giving someone a present shows them that you thought about them. i use to wonder about the point of receiving flowers but someone once told me that the flowers are pretty but that's not what makes them special, what gives flowers their significance is the fact that someone thought of you and cared enough to get them for you. with time, the gift is yourself. when you spend time with your family or when you sit down and chat with a friend, those are things that money can't buy. Yes it's cliche but i find that time is the most difficult gift to give. time is a precious gift that is limited in it's quantity. you can't give the same gift of time to two different things. it's truly priceless because the time that you give to someone you can never buy back.

so this holiday season who will you give your time to?

one of the greatest lessons learned this summer from being an OA is never leave your stuff unattended at the PCL or never leave your stuff with a stranger. however, you'd be surprised at the number of people who are strangers to me that have asked me to watch their stuff in the past several weeks. maybe they think i look like a nice person or maybe there are some trusting people out there or perhaps it's the fact that the PCL has video cameras all over the place and if I were to take a stab at thievery i'd probably get caught. but everytime someone i dont know asks me to watch their stuff I always think, what if I wasn't me? what if i was some person who sat at the PCL just waiting for these sorts of instances to happen so that i would be able to steal a nice new laptop?

i must admit that i too have been tempted to ask the person in the next cubicle if they could watch my stuff for me. many times i have been stuck with the dilemma of what to do when i'm studying by myself and i really need to pee and there's no one to watch my stuff. this is especially troubling during finals when space in the PCL is deeply coveted. my solution is usually to hold off as long as possible, until my face turns blue and pink and i really cant stand awkwardly sitting in a chair anymore, then do i give up my place and race to the bathroom with great speed.

i suppose the alternative is asking people to study with you. that way you can have someone to poke you when you're falling asleep or to watch your stuff when you really gotta go. one good thing about the Perry Castaneda Library is that more often than not, you'll run into someone you know but the downside is that the library is so huge sometimes you just dont end up sitting with the people you can trust your stuff with.

moral of the story: dont leave your stuff with a stranger but dont leave it unattended either!

I'm still here!!


hmm...so I was eating dim sum with family, family friends and Michelle today when she once again brought to my attention that I don't update anymore. And why have a blog if I dont plan to update. Then I think why update if I dont really go online much these days besides using email. Does anyone even read this thing anymore?

I was thinking of making this blog comeback more exciting by providing some visuals but I realize that along with not blogging much these days, I've stopped taking pictures. Most days I don't really feel the need to take pictures anymore because many other people already bring their cameras and when you make some stranger on the street take 4 of the same picture with 4 different cameras....perhaps it becames a waste of time. I always think that the other alternative is having friends email the pictures that were taken but the reality is that pictures get posted on facebook more quickly than they get emailed out to ppl. And that's the way the cookie crumbles. So if I have been to an event with you in which you took pictures of and feel like this post has compelled you to send me the pictures, please please do so because I am deeply picture deprived at this current state of being.

Last weekend was rather eventful. I think I hit a milestone in my college career. By that I mean I went to my first UT football game. According to my communities and organization professor, football at this fine institution is our religion so I guess it was time I went to see what the hubbub was all about. I suppose the big-dealness of football beccame more clear after attending the game. After 2 years, I think I can finally say I've seen longhorns at their craziest; even people I know who went to the game went crazy...their voices changed...as if they were another person. Not only that but Lance Armstrong and three NBA players were about 10 feet away from where the bunch of us were sitting. OH and did I mention we were sitting in section 32 in the second row?! wow...what luck for the first UT game attended ever....

work has been going well. although i only work about 2 hours a day, I still get pretty worn out. I'm a substitute for the toddler class during nap time so I don't see the kids awake most of the time unless they're the rowdy ones that wake up 20 minutes into the 120 minute naptime. through observation, I've come to the conclusion that toddlers really like sleeping with their butts up in the air. It's like sleeping in the fetal position but on your belly. It's really cute. the older you get the less socially acceptable it seems to sleep with your butt in the air.

coming home has also been a highlight. somehow home is always inviting, a place where things keep moving but the things that matter the most never change and everything is jolly. seeing John, Grace and Caleb was exciting. John and Grace are still as amazing as they once were and Caleb really is as cute as the pictures on the Lin's blog. seeing where John and Grace have come from and where they are now makes me think....I wonder what my life will be like 6 or 7 years down the road.

well if this blogging stuff keeps up maybe I'll post about my life 6 or 7 years down the road....sometimes I think blogs are more for the person that wrote the entry than for people who come across the blog or are avid readers of it...maybe sometimes there are even stalkers who want to know about someone's life. Have you ever come across a person's blog who's aquainted with someone you know but they're not really your friend but you sorta know what's going on in their life and when you finally meet them you feel like you know them but it's weird because you know all this stuff about them but you don't really know them? or maybe this entire entry has just been a lot of babbling =)

forgotten....


it's been a while since i've updated this thing. I owe blog neglect to the absent cable guy who was suppose to set up the internet jazz but then after 2 weeks my roommies and i are notified that he quit his job. leave it to us to have situations like such happen. but life goes on and the day will come when internet will grace the appartment.

appartment life is different. it's tempting to live in isolation, be a hermit and keep to oneself, especially when it's a hike to the third floor. however it's nice to have the company of friends in the same complex. In essense it's almost like a condensed version of dorm life. having a kitchen is a bonus. there's a sense of satisfaction in being able to cook for yourself.

classes have been enriching. i feel like all the classes i'm taking are a big stretch for me. they stretch my mind, something OA-ing this summer really did for me. I'm excited yet dreading the work that lies ahead.

i'll be starting work next week. for some reason i just cant seem to stay away from hanging out with little kids. every job i've had has had something to do with children or....older children. this should be fun.

this past summer....


wow so OA stuff is over and the last time i updated was when it began. It's true what our supervisors said; if you can do the orientation job, you can do any job. If there's one thing that i've learned through this experience, it's that many people make assumptions about other identities based on their knowledge of one person who identifies with a particular group. Orientation was staffed with people from all backgrounds and all different identities. the class and getting to know my co-workers really broke down a lot of stereotypes and misconceptions I've heard throughout my life. And even if what I've heard was true, these facts are only a part of who someone is, not all of who they are. It's really amazing how we all bonded so well and connected with one another on so many different levels. Most of the people I lived with for 9 weeks I wouldn't have associated with or befriended if it werent for orientation. I must say that orientation is the best program I know. I'm a strong advocate for anyone who is remotely considering this position in the future.

It's so evident that our supervisors cared emensely about the new students. What they do at new student services is not a job but a career. I was talking to my dad the other day and he defined the difference for me. A job is something you do to get money while a career is something you look foward to waking up to do everyday. If it was my calling to make orientation a career I'd definitely consider it.

I think the orientation program was as much for the new students as it was for the those that staffed it. What other job is there that brings such a diverse group of students together, unite them for one purpose?

I cannot do my OA experience justice by typing out what it was like. However, I would be more than happy to talk about it if asked about it.

On another note, after the grueling 9 weeks of orientation, I had the opportunity to witness the Holy Spirit work in the most miraculous ways at camp challenge this past week. Hearing the speaker's messages and the testimonies of the students, those that came to accept Christ and the stories of the friends that had been praying for them really shook my faith. It's late and I'm still soaking up the impact of this past week...I shall save those stories for another day.

countdown to liftoff 2 days...

yes folks, 2 days till I officially begin my first duties as an OA. Techincally everything begins monday (day zero) but I wont be spotting any freshmen until tuesday.

currently I should be reading up on some orientation stuff to prepare me to answer any questions thrown in my face in the next several weeks but somehow I feel motivated to blog and I also felt that I shouldn't let the opportunity slip by. as a sidenote, my legs feel inflammed from mosquito bites and I have this strange rash on my ankles, hopefully that'll go away soon.

this weekend has been really great. Got to see Gracey lots so that was fun =) It's an incredible thing to be able to see familiar friends in Austin during the summer cuz those faces are hard to come by in these parts. I've also had the chance to really experience being a part of the OA family this weekend.

Friday we had an activity called fuzzies which was just a very encouraging time of feeling loved and appreciated amongst fellow OAs. Saturday was a pool party where we had an intense game of volleyball...even water games bring out the aggressive sporty side of men. Then Sunday we had OA field day, lots of bonding time, getting to know one another better, making memories, and having fun.

From the beginning I recognized how diverse a group the OAs were and I truly believe that the bunch that's here in jester east this summer reflects the ethnicities, beliefs and differences present here on campus. I thought it was cool how today at Liquid the message was about how sometimes God places situations in your life that force you out of comfort but these situations always come at a very timely place in your life.

being at OA at present falls at a very timely place in my life. I know what it is to have a comfortable safe group of friends that I know are a gift that will always be around yet I'm here at this place that takes me from what I'm use to, what I know and it's great because it's a risk. I'm not a risk-taker by nature but as followers of Christ I believe we're called to take risks, to do things that may not necessarily be comfortable. When we're in those uncomfortable situations we've hit our "learning edge" (something I've learned this past semester). the learning edge is a place where we're most vulnerable and uncomfortable yet most susceptible to growing and learning.

a long grueling two weeks, in a good way...

in many ways, the OA experience has been all that I'd hoped and asked for. Everything that's happened thus far is not a far cry from what I expected it to be. when all thoughts gather together I shall try to verbalize it all.

One thing I've learned is that it's hard to pinpoint one's level of comfort in life until emerged in a place of discomfort for an extended period of time. Another thing I've learned is that there are times when we only see certain aspects of God that we want to see or we mold those characteristics of God to an image that fits our lens so that it agrees with our thoughts.

my thoughts are scattered and I've become quite the clumsy person. In the course of three days, I've dropped three contact lenses onto the dirty floor of my jester room...what a waste of two weeks worth of contact wearage.

UT firsts....

-a summer spent in Austin
-having a random roommate
-living in Jester east
-taking the elevator to my room
-parking in Brazos garage
-community bathroom
-free pluckers and tiff treats

....to name a few but the list goes on...just ask me about it sometime. First day back in Austin was good and seeing all the other OAs was fun. I must say that I need to get use to hugs...a slow but gradual process. Days are quick but packed, tasks are challenging but exciting, food is good but low in fiber but for now I'm not complaining. Fatigue is slowly seeping in on me....the first day of the next 8 weeks of my life =)

on constant replay.....

Voice of Truth- Casting Crowns

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
on to the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
On top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe-

It has come to my attention that after an entire semester of 8ams every single day....tomorrow is the very last one. This is the dawning of a new era. Just thought I'd share that with you. this is amazing....

Matthew 11:28 
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy
burdens, and I will give you rest. 
  

ANYWAY
 
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered:
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true
enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, they may cheat you;
Be forthright anyway.
What you spend years building, they may destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous and scornful;
Be joyous anyway.
The good you do today, they often will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it will never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them, anyway.

Anonymous

if you've talked to me this past semester you'll know that i think my African American families class is the most amazing thing in the world. I believe that everyone that has the opportunity to should definitely make time in their schedule to take that class, whether you feel like you know a lot or a little about people who are African American. I've learned so much about the African American culture, the people and myself.

a few weeks ago I read some really interesting articles about the effect of a predominantly White school system on Black students. The article was called "Family Life and School Experience: Factors in the Racial Identity Development of Black Youth in White Communities" by Beverly Daniel Tatum. The article depicted a study of several Black students and their experiences as students in White community schools. All of the students in the article end up going to a majority White university only to realize that they may have enjoyed their college experiences more if they'd gotten to go to an Black college. These thoughts were based on the different backgrounds of where the students had come from. There are two quotes that I think tie the article together well and I also think they give insight to my own racial identity.

"...these interviews suggest that what integrated Black students need is for their families to build a firm foundation for their developing racial identities."

"..it is important for Black students to explore same-race, as well as cross-race, friendships."

I really think that how families shape the mind of their children as well as the friendships that are developed over time affect your racial identity. When I first moved to Texas, I disliked the fact that all my friends were Asian Americans. Growing up on the west and being around people who weren't Asian most of the time felt very normal and the fact that I had all Asian friends felt very abnormal. It was almost embarrassing to go out and eat with a group of 20 Chinese people and receive some seemingly condescending glances. In fact, old friends that I grew up with would ask me if I was racist because there would be nothing but yellow faces in my pictures. Sometimes I would question, is it wrong?

After reading the article I saw how class conscious/race-avoidant African American parents put their children through a lot of toil because they didn't have a lot of opportunity to embrace the African American culture, which is so much more than BET and crude hip hop songs. Because of this lack of exposure or even fueling a desire to know their culture, many students became discontent and eventually wanted to get in touch with that part of their identity.

I realize now how blessed it is to be second generation Asian American. If you think about it, we are a people very rooted in our culture. We celebrate chinese new years, we relate to each other when we talk about taking off your shoes at the front door jokes, we understand those misconceptions that all Asians are hardcore academic freaks and everyone and their mothers think we're all smart, we know that it's not uncommon to grow up sort of bilingual, and we laugh when we've been put in ESL even though we were born in the states. We get each other because I think first generation immigrant parents make it an effort to expose us to our culture to almost force us to be rooted in our culture...whether that means 12 years of chinese school, suffering from being coerced to an adolescence of piano lessons, or even the pressures of coming out top in your class.

Pride is a good thing when comparison is not an issue and I've learned to be proud of being Asian. But at the same time I deeply enjoy the friendships that I have with those who are not Asians and that is also why I think it's not just important to be proud of who you are but also to invest in knowing others who don't share the commonalities of your ethnicity. Each culture has their own rich aspects that make this world so beautiful.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139: 14

God made us just as he intended; in his image and in his perfection.