the last kiss.....
i had a conversation with a friend this past semester and something really stuck with me and it's something that i think about every so often.
in the last kiss, Zack Braff cheats on his girlfriend and then goes to her house to try and win her back. When she gets there he finds her dad who asks him what reason Zack Braff's character can give him to show that he deserved to have his daughter back. In response he said that he really really really really loved her in the deepest way possible (or something like that, i haven't actually seen the movie) but in a nutshell he expressed that he had this profound feeling of love for her. To what he said, the father told him that the love that he felt for his daughter was something that only he could feel. he can tell the daughter that he loved her but she would never know how much he loved her through spoken words describing the feeling.
sometimes i wonder if the feelings that i experience for the people in my life are something that only i possess or do they recognize it too? and for myself i often wonder if i'm too easily convinced or if i truly experience the positive emotions that people have for me.
maybe the reason why people like birthdays so much, beyond just feeling special, is knowing that people have positive regard for you. The act of celebrating someone shows them how you feel about them. I admit that i really love receiving presents but most of the time, the greatest gift received is time.
with presents you give thoughts because giving someone a present shows them that you thought about them. i use to wonder about the point of receiving flowers but someone once told me that the flowers are pretty but that's not what makes them special, what gives flowers their significance is the fact that someone thought of you and cared enough to get them for you. with time, the gift is yourself. when you spend time with your family or when you sit down and chat with a friend, those are things that money can't buy. Yes it's cliche but i find that time is the most difficult gift to give. time is a precious gift that is limited in it's quantity. you can't give the same gift of time to two different things. it's truly priceless because the time that you give to someone you can never buy back.
so this holiday season who will you give your time to?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
one of the greatest lessons learned this summer from being an OA is never leave your stuff unattended at the PCL or never leave your stuff with a stranger. however, you'd be surprised at the number of people who are strangers to me that have asked me to watch their stuff in the past several weeks. maybe they think i look like a nice person or maybe there are some trusting people out there or perhaps it's the fact that the PCL has video cameras all over the place and if I were to take a stab at thievery i'd probably get caught. but everytime someone i dont know asks me to watch their stuff I always think, what if I wasn't me? what if i was some person who sat at the PCL just waiting for these sorts of instances to happen so that i would be able to steal a nice new laptop?
i must admit that i too have been tempted to ask the person in the next cubicle if they could watch my stuff for me. many times i have been stuck with the dilemma of what to do when i'm studying by myself and i really need to pee and there's no one to watch my stuff. this is especially troubling during finals when space in the PCL is deeply coveted. my solution is usually to hold off as long as possible, until my face turns blue and pink and i really cant stand awkwardly sitting in a chair anymore, then do i give up my place and race to the bathroom with great speed.
i suppose the alternative is asking people to study with you. that way you can have someone to poke you when you're falling asleep or to watch your stuff when you really gotta go. one good thing about the Perry Castaneda Library is that more often than not, you'll run into someone you know but the downside is that the library is so huge sometimes you just dont end up sitting with the people you can trust your stuff with.
moral of the story: dont leave your stuff with a stranger but dont leave it unattended either!
i must admit that i too have been tempted to ask the person in the next cubicle if they could watch my stuff for me. many times i have been stuck with the dilemma of what to do when i'm studying by myself and i really need to pee and there's no one to watch my stuff. this is especially troubling during finals when space in the PCL is deeply coveted. my solution is usually to hold off as long as possible, until my face turns blue and pink and i really cant stand awkwardly sitting in a chair anymore, then do i give up my place and race to the bathroom with great speed.
i suppose the alternative is asking people to study with you. that way you can have someone to poke you when you're falling asleep or to watch your stuff when you really gotta go. one good thing about the Perry Castaneda Library is that more often than not, you'll run into someone you know but the downside is that the library is so huge sometimes you just dont end up sitting with the people you can trust your stuff with.
moral of the story: dont leave your stuff with a stranger but dont leave it unattended either!
Sunday, September 17, 2006
I'm still here!!
hmm...so I was eating dim sum with family, family friends and Michelle today when she once again brought to my attention that I don't update anymore. And why have a blog if I dont plan to update. Then I think why update if I dont really go online much these days besides using email. Does anyone even read this thing anymore?
I was thinking of making this blog comeback more exciting by providing some visuals but I realize that along with not blogging much these days, I've stopped taking pictures. Most days I don't really feel the need to take pictures anymore because many other people already bring their cameras and when you make some stranger on the street take 4 of the same picture with 4 different cameras....perhaps it becames a waste of time. I always think that the other alternative is having friends email the pictures that were taken but the reality is that pictures get posted on facebook more quickly than they get emailed out to ppl. And that's the way the cookie crumbles. So if I have been to an event with you in which you took pictures of and feel like this post has compelled you to send me the pictures, please please do so because I am deeply picture deprived at this current state of being.
Last weekend was rather eventful. I think I hit a milestone in my college career. By that I mean I went to my first UT football game. According to my communities and organization professor, football at this fine institution is our religion so I guess it was time I went to see what the hubbub was all about. I suppose the big-dealness of football beccame more clear after attending the game. After 2 years, I think I can finally say I've seen longhorns at their craziest; even people I know who went to the game went crazy...their voices changed...as if they were another person. Not only that but Lance Armstrong and three NBA players were about 10 feet away from where the bunch of us were sitting. OH and did I mention we were sitting in section 32 in the second row?! wow...what luck for the first UT game attended ever....
work has been going well. although i only work about 2 hours a day, I still get pretty worn out. I'm a substitute for the toddler class during nap time so I don't see the kids awake most of the time unless they're the rowdy ones that wake up 20 minutes into the 120 minute naptime. through observation, I've come to the conclusion that toddlers really like sleeping with their butts up in the air. It's like sleeping in the fetal position but on your belly. It's really cute. the older you get the less socially acceptable it seems to sleep with your butt in the air.
coming home has also been a highlight. somehow home is always inviting, a place where things keep moving but the things that matter the most never change and everything is jolly. seeing John, Grace and Caleb was exciting. John and Grace are still as amazing as they once were and Caleb really is as cute as the pictures on the Lin's blog. seeing where John and Grace have come from and where they are now makes me think....I wonder what my life will be like 6 or 7 years down the road.
well if this blogging stuff keeps up maybe I'll post about my life 6 or 7 years down the road....sometimes I think blogs are more for the person that wrote the entry than for people who come across the blog or are avid readers of it...maybe sometimes there are even stalkers who want to know about someone's life. Have you ever come across a person's blog who's aquainted with someone you know but they're not really your friend but you sorta know what's going on in their life and when you finally meet them you feel like you know them but it's weird because you know all this stuff about them but you don't really know them? or maybe this entire entry has just been a lot of babbling =)
hmm...so I was eating dim sum with family, family friends and Michelle today when she once again brought to my attention that I don't update anymore. And why have a blog if I dont plan to update. Then I think why update if I dont really go online much these days besides using email. Does anyone even read this thing anymore?
I was thinking of making this blog comeback more exciting by providing some visuals but I realize that along with not blogging much these days, I've stopped taking pictures. Most days I don't really feel the need to take pictures anymore because many other people already bring their cameras and when you make some stranger on the street take 4 of the same picture with 4 different cameras....perhaps it becames a waste of time. I always think that the other alternative is having friends email the pictures that were taken but the reality is that pictures get posted on facebook more quickly than they get emailed out to ppl. And that's the way the cookie crumbles. So if I have been to an event with you in which you took pictures of and feel like this post has compelled you to send me the pictures, please please do so because I am deeply picture deprived at this current state of being.
Last weekend was rather eventful. I think I hit a milestone in my college career. By that I mean I went to my first UT football game. According to my communities and organization professor, football at this fine institution is our religion so I guess it was time I went to see what the hubbub was all about. I suppose the big-dealness of football beccame more clear after attending the game. After 2 years, I think I can finally say I've seen longhorns at their craziest; even people I know who went to the game went crazy...their voices changed...as if they were another person. Not only that but Lance Armstrong and three NBA players were about 10 feet away from where the bunch of us were sitting. OH and did I mention we were sitting in section 32 in the second row?! wow...what luck for the first UT game attended ever....
work has been going well. although i only work about 2 hours a day, I still get pretty worn out. I'm a substitute for the toddler class during nap time so I don't see the kids awake most of the time unless they're the rowdy ones that wake up 20 minutes into the 120 minute naptime. through observation, I've come to the conclusion that toddlers really like sleeping with their butts up in the air. It's like sleeping in the fetal position but on your belly. It's really cute. the older you get the less socially acceptable it seems to sleep with your butt in the air.
coming home has also been a highlight. somehow home is always inviting, a place where things keep moving but the things that matter the most never change and everything is jolly. seeing John, Grace and Caleb was exciting. John and Grace are still as amazing as they once were and Caleb really is as cute as the pictures on the Lin's blog. seeing where John and Grace have come from and where they are now makes me think....I wonder what my life will be like 6 or 7 years down the road.
well if this blogging stuff keeps up maybe I'll post about my life 6 or 7 years down the road....sometimes I think blogs are more for the person that wrote the entry than for people who come across the blog or are avid readers of it...maybe sometimes there are even stalkers who want to know about someone's life. Have you ever come across a person's blog who's aquainted with someone you know but they're not really your friend but you sorta know what's going on in their life and when you finally meet them you feel like you know them but it's weird because you know all this stuff about them but you don't really know them? or maybe this entire entry has just been a lot of babbling =)
Thursday, September 07, 2006
forgotten....
it's been a while since i've updated this thing. I owe blog neglect to the absent cable guy who was suppose to set up the internet jazz but then after 2 weeks my roommies and i are notified that he quit his job. leave it to us to have situations like such happen. but life goes on and the day will come when internet will grace the appartment.
appartment life is different. it's tempting to live in isolation, be a hermit and keep to oneself, especially when it's a hike to the third floor. however it's nice to have the company of friends in the same complex. In essense it's almost like a condensed version of dorm life. having a kitchen is a bonus. there's a sense of satisfaction in being able to cook for yourself.
classes have been enriching. i feel like all the classes i'm taking are a big stretch for me. they stretch my mind, something OA-ing this summer really did for me. I'm excited yet dreading the work that lies ahead.
i'll be starting work next week. for some reason i just cant seem to stay away from hanging out with little kids. every job i've had has had something to do with children or....older children. this should be fun.
it's been a while since i've updated this thing. I owe blog neglect to the absent cable guy who was suppose to set up the internet jazz but then after 2 weeks my roommies and i are notified that he quit his job. leave it to us to have situations like such happen. but life goes on and the day will come when internet will grace the appartment.
appartment life is different. it's tempting to live in isolation, be a hermit and keep to oneself, especially when it's a hike to the third floor. however it's nice to have the company of friends in the same complex. In essense it's almost like a condensed version of dorm life. having a kitchen is a bonus. there's a sense of satisfaction in being able to cook for yourself.
classes have been enriching. i feel like all the classes i'm taking are a big stretch for me. they stretch my mind, something OA-ing this summer really did for me. I'm excited yet dreading the work that lies ahead.
i'll be starting work next week. for some reason i just cant seem to stay away from hanging out with little kids. every job i've had has had something to do with children or....older children. this should be fun.
Monday, July 31, 2006
this past summer....
wow so OA stuff is over and the last time i updated was when it began. It's true what our supervisors said; if you can do the orientation job, you can do any job. If there's one thing that i've learned through this experience, it's that many people make assumptions about other identities based on their knowledge of one person who identifies with a particular group. Orientation was staffed with people from all backgrounds and all different identities. the class and getting to know my co-workers really broke down a lot of stereotypes and misconceptions I've heard throughout my life. And even if what I've heard was true, these facts are only a part of who someone is, not all of who they are. It's really amazing how we all bonded so well and connected with one another on so many different levels. Most of the people I lived with for 9 weeks I wouldn't have associated with or befriended if it werent for orientation. I must say that orientation is the best program I know. I'm a strong advocate for anyone who is remotely considering this position in the future.
It's so evident that our supervisors cared emensely about the new students. What they do at new student services is not a job but a career. I was talking to my dad the other day and he defined the difference for me. A job is something you do to get money while a career is something you look foward to waking up to do everyday. If it was my calling to make orientation a career I'd definitely consider it.
I think the orientation program was as much for the new students as it was for the those that staffed it. What other job is there that brings such a diverse group of students together, unite them for one purpose?
I cannot do my OA experience justice by typing out what it was like. However, I would be more than happy to talk about it if asked about it.
On another note, after the grueling 9 weeks of orientation, I had the opportunity to witness the Holy Spirit work in the most miraculous ways at camp challenge this past week. Hearing the speaker's messages and the testimonies of the students, those that came to accept Christ and the stories of the friends that had been praying for them really shook my faith. It's late and I'm still soaking up the impact of this past week...I shall save those stories for another day.
wow so OA stuff is over and the last time i updated was when it began. It's true what our supervisors said; if you can do the orientation job, you can do any job. If there's one thing that i've learned through this experience, it's that many people make assumptions about other identities based on their knowledge of one person who identifies with a particular group. Orientation was staffed with people from all backgrounds and all different identities. the class and getting to know my co-workers really broke down a lot of stereotypes and misconceptions I've heard throughout my life. And even if what I've heard was true, these facts are only a part of who someone is, not all of who they are. It's really amazing how we all bonded so well and connected with one another on so many different levels. Most of the people I lived with for 9 weeks I wouldn't have associated with or befriended if it werent for orientation. I must say that orientation is the best program I know. I'm a strong advocate for anyone who is remotely considering this position in the future.
It's so evident that our supervisors cared emensely about the new students. What they do at new student services is not a job but a career. I was talking to my dad the other day and he defined the difference for me. A job is something you do to get money while a career is something you look foward to waking up to do everyday. If it was my calling to make orientation a career I'd definitely consider it.
I think the orientation program was as much for the new students as it was for the those that staffed it. What other job is there that brings such a diverse group of students together, unite them for one purpose?
I cannot do my OA experience justice by typing out what it was like. However, I would be more than happy to talk about it if asked about it.
On another note, after the grueling 9 weeks of orientation, I had the opportunity to witness the Holy Spirit work in the most miraculous ways at camp challenge this past week. Hearing the speaker's messages and the testimonies of the students, those that came to accept Christ and the stories of the friends that had been praying for them really shook my faith. It's late and I'm still soaking up the impact of this past week...I shall save those stories for another day.
Monday, June 05, 2006
countdown to liftoff 2 days...
yes folks, 2 days till I officially begin my first duties as an OA. Techincally everything begins monday (day zero) but I wont be spotting any freshmen until tuesday.
currently I should be reading up on some orientation stuff to prepare me to answer any questions thrown in my face in the next several weeks but somehow I feel motivated to blog and I also felt that I shouldn't let the opportunity slip by. as a sidenote, my legs feel inflammed from mosquito bites and I have this strange rash on my ankles, hopefully that'll go away soon.
this weekend has been really great. Got to see Gracey lots so that was fun =) It's an incredible thing to be able to see familiar friends in Austin during the summer cuz those faces are hard to come by in these parts. I've also had the chance to really experience being a part of the OA family this weekend.
Friday we had an activity called fuzzies which was just a very encouraging time of feeling loved and appreciated amongst fellow OAs. Saturday was a pool party where we had an intense game of volleyball...even water games bring out the aggressive sporty side of men. Then Sunday we had OA field day, lots of bonding time, getting to know one another better, making memories, and having fun.
From the beginning I recognized how diverse a group the OAs were and I truly believe that the bunch that's here in jester east this summer reflects the ethnicities, beliefs and differences present here on campus. I thought it was cool how today at Liquid the message was about how sometimes God places situations in your life that force you out of comfort but these situations always come at a very timely place in your life.
being at OA at present falls at a very timely place in my life. I know what it is to have a comfortable safe group of friends that I know are a gift that will always be around yet I'm here at this place that takes me from what I'm use to, what I know and it's great because it's a risk. I'm not a risk-taker by nature but as followers of Christ I believe we're called to take risks, to do things that may not necessarily be comfortable. When we're in those uncomfortable situations we've hit our "learning edge" (something I've learned this past semester). the learning edge is a place where we're most vulnerable and uncomfortable yet most susceptible to growing and learning.
yes folks, 2 days till I officially begin my first duties as an OA. Techincally everything begins monday (day zero) but I wont be spotting any freshmen until tuesday.
currently I should be reading up on some orientation stuff to prepare me to answer any questions thrown in my face in the next several weeks but somehow I feel motivated to blog and I also felt that I shouldn't let the opportunity slip by. as a sidenote, my legs feel inflammed from mosquito bites and I have this strange rash on my ankles, hopefully that'll go away soon.
this weekend has been really great. Got to see Gracey lots so that was fun =) It's an incredible thing to be able to see familiar friends in Austin during the summer cuz those faces are hard to come by in these parts. I've also had the chance to really experience being a part of the OA family this weekend.
Friday we had an activity called fuzzies which was just a very encouraging time of feeling loved and appreciated amongst fellow OAs. Saturday was a pool party where we had an intense game of volleyball...even water games bring out the aggressive sporty side of men. Then Sunday we had OA field day, lots of bonding time, getting to know one another better, making memories, and having fun.
From the beginning I recognized how diverse a group the OAs were and I truly believe that the bunch that's here in jester east this summer reflects the ethnicities, beliefs and differences present here on campus. I thought it was cool how today at Liquid the message was about how sometimes God places situations in your life that force you out of comfort but these situations always come at a very timely place in your life.
being at OA at present falls at a very timely place in my life. I know what it is to have a comfortable safe group of friends that I know are a gift that will always be around yet I'm here at this place that takes me from what I'm use to, what I know and it's great because it's a risk. I'm not a risk-taker by nature but as followers of Christ I believe we're called to take risks, to do things that may not necessarily be comfortable. When we're in those uncomfortable situations we've hit our "learning edge" (something I've learned this past semester). the learning edge is a place where we're most vulnerable and uncomfortable yet most susceptible to growing and learning.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
a long grueling two weeks, in a good way...
in many ways, the OA experience has been all that I'd hoped and asked for. Everything that's happened thus far is not a far cry from what I expected it to be. when all thoughts gather together I shall try to verbalize it all.
One thing I've learned is that it's hard to pinpoint one's level of comfort in life until emerged in a place of discomfort for an extended period of time. Another thing I've learned is that there are times when we only see certain aspects of God that we want to see or we mold those characteristics of God to an image that fits our lens so that it agrees with our thoughts.
my thoughts are scattered and I've become quite the clumsy person. In the course of three days, I've dropped three contact lenses onto the dirty floor of my jester room...what a waste of two weeks worth of contact wearage.
in many ways, the OA experience has been all that I'd hoped and asked for. Everything that's happened thus far is not a far cry from what I expected it to be. when all thoughts gather together I shall try to verbalize it all.
One thing I've learned is that it's hard to pinpoint one's level of comfort in life until emerged in a place of discomfort for an extended period of time. Another thing I've learned is that there are times when we only see certain aspects of God that we want to see or we mold those characteristics of God to an image that fits our lens so that it agrees with our thoughts.
my thoughts are scattered and I've become quite the clumsy person. In the course of three days, I've dropped three contact lenses onto the dirty floor of my jester room...what a waste of two weeks worth of contact wearage.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
UT firsts....
-a summer spent in Austin
-having a random roommate
-living in Jester east
-taking the elevator to my room
-parking in Brazos garage
-community bathroom
-free pluckers and tiff treats
....to name a few but the list goes on...just ask me about it sometime. First day back in Austin was good and seeing all the other OAs was fun. I must say that I need to get use to hugs...a slow but gradual process. Days are quick but packed, tasks are challenging but exciting, food is good but low in fiber but for now I'm not complaining. Fatigue is slowly seeping in on me....the first day of the next 8 weeks of my life =)
-a summer spent in Austin
-having a random roommate
-living in Jester east
-taking the elevator to my room
-parking in Brazos garage
-community bathroom
-free pluckers and tiff treats
....to name a few but the list goes on...just ask me about it sometime. First day back in Austin was good and seeing all the other OAs was fun. I must say that I need to get use to hugs...a slow but gradual process. Days are quick but packed, tasks are challenging but exciting, food is good but low in fiber but for now I'm not complaining. Fatigue is slowly seeping in on me....the first day of the next 8 weeks of my life =)
Thursday, May 04, 2006
on constant replay.....
Voice of Truth- Casting Crowns
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
on to the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
On top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe-
Voice of Truth- Casting Crowns
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
on to the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
On top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe-
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Matthew 11:28
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy
burdens, and I will give you rest.
ANYWAY
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered:
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true
enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, they may cheat you;
Be forthright anyway.
What you spend years building, they may destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous and scornful;
Be joyous anyway.
The good you do today, they often will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it will never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them, anyway.
Anonymous
Saturday, April 08, 2006
if you've talked to me this past semester you'll know that i think my African American families class is the most amazing thing in the world. I believe that everyone that has the opportunity to should definitely make time in their schedule to take that class, whether you feel like you know a lot or a little about people who are African American. I've learned so much about the African American culture, the people and myself.
a few weeks ago I read some really interesting articles about the effect of a predominantly White school system on Black students. The article was called "Family Life and School Experience: Factors in the Racial Identity Development of Black Youth in White Communities" by Beverly Daniel Tatum. The article depicted a study of several Black students and their experiences as students in White community schools. All of the students in the article end up going to a majority White university only to realize that they may have enjoyed their college experiences more if they'd gotten to go to an Black college. These thoughts were based on the different backgrounds of where the students had come from. There are two quotes that I think tie the article together well and I also think they give insight to my own racial identity.
"...these interviews suggest that what integrated Black students need is for their families to build a firm foundation for their developing racial identities."
"..it is important for Black students to explore same-race, as well as cross-race, friendships."
I really think that how families shape the mind of their children as well as the friendships that are developed over time affect your racial identity. When I first moved to Texas, I disliked the fact that all my friends were Asian Americans. Growing up on the west and being around people who weren't Asian most of the time felt very normal and the fact that I had all Asian friends felt very abnormal. It was almost embarrassing to go out and eat with a group of 20 Chinese people and receive some seemingly condescending glances. In fact, old friends that I grew up with would ask me if I was racist because there would be nothing but yellow faces in my pictures. Sometimes I would question, is it wrong?
After reading the article I saw how class conscious/race-avoidant African American parents put their children through a lot of toil because they didn't have a lot of opportunity to embrace the African American culture, which is so much more than BET and crude hip hop songs. Because of this lack of exposure or even fueling a desire to know their culture, many students became discontent and eventually wanted to get in touch with that part of their identity.
I realize now how blessed it is to be second generation Asian American. If you think about it, we are a people very rooted in our culture. We celebrate chinese new years, we relate to each other when we talk about taking off your shoes at the front door jokes, we understand those misconceptions that all Asians are hardcore academic freaks and everyone and their mothers think we're all smart, we know that it's not uncommon to grow up sort of bilingual, and we laugh when we've been put in ESL even though we were born in the states. We get each other because I think first generation immigrant parents make it an effort to expose us to our culture to almost force us to be rooted in our culture...whether that means 12 years of chinese school, suffering from being coerced to an adolescence of piano lessons, or even the pressures of coming out top in your class.
Pride is a good thing when comparison is not an issue and I've learned to be proud of being Asian. But at the same time I deeply enjoy the friendships that I have with those who are not Asians and that is also why I think it's not just important to be proud of who you are but also to invest in knowing others who don't share the commonalities of your ethnicity. Each culture has their own rich aspects that make this world so beautiful.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139: 14
God made us just as he intended; in his image and in his perfection.
a few weeks ago I read some really interesting articles about the effect of a predominantly White school system on Black students. The article was called "Family Life and School Experience: Factors in the Racial Identity Development of Black Youth in White Communities" by Beverly Daniel Tatum. The article depicted a study of several Black students and their experiences as students in White community schools. All of the students in the article end up going to a majority White university only to realize that they may have enjoyed their college experiences more if they'd gotten to go to an Black college. These thoughts were based on the different backgrounds of where the students had come from. There are two quotes that I think tie the article together well and I also think they give insight to my own racial identity.
"...these interviews suggest that what integrated Black students need is for their families to build a firm foundation for their developing racial identities."
"..it is important for Black students to explore same-race, as well as cross-race, friendships."
I really think that how families shape the mind of their children as well as the friendships that are developed over time affect your racial identity. When I first moved to Texas, I disliked the fact that all my friends were Asian Americans. Growing up on the west and being around people who weren't Asian most of the time felt very normal and the fact that I had all Asian friends felt very abnormal. It was almost embarrassing to go out and eat with a group of 20 Chinese people and receive some seemingly condescending glances. In fact, old friends that I grew up with would ask me if I was racist because there would be nothing but yellow faces in my pictures. Sometimes I would question, is it wrong?
After reading the article I saw how class conscious/race-avoidant African American parents put their children through a lot of toil because they didn't have a lot of opportunity to embrace the African American culture, which is so much more than BET and crude hip hop songs. Because of this lack of exposure or even fueling a desire to know their culture, many students became discontent and eventually wanted to get in touch with that part of their identity.
I realize now how blessed it is to be second generation Asian American. If you think about it, we are a people very rooted in our culture. We celebrate chinese new years, we relate to each other when we talk about taking off your shoes at the front door jokes, we understand those misconceptions that all Asians are hardcore academic freaks and everyone and their mothers think we're all smart, we know that it's not uncommon to grow up sort of bilingual, and we laugh when we've been put in ESL even though we were born in the states. We get each other because I think first generation immigrant parents make it an effort to expose us to our culture to almost force us to be rooted in our culture...whether that means 12 years of chinese school, suffering from being coerced to an adolescence of piano lessons, or even the pressures of coming out top in your class.
Pride is a good thing when comparison is not an issue and I've learned to be proud of being Asian. But at the same time I deeply enjoy the friendships that I have with those who are not Asians and that is also why I think it's not just important to be proud of who you are but also to invest in knowing others who don't share the commonalities of your ethnicity. Each culture has their own rich aspects that make this world so beautiful.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139: 14
God made us just as he intended; in his image and in his perfection.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
New Orleans
9th ward reality (looks like something straight out of universal studios doesn't it?)
One of the best parts about the trip was being able to talk to people and hearing what happened to them as well as being able to pray for them and having them be super open to prayer. I met a woman whose house we were gutting and we brought out a bunch of books and about five Bibles. After looking at all the books and spilling all the nostalgia that the books brought, she only took up the Bibles to keep. She said "I need these." Do we really have to lose everything to recognize what the most important things are in life?
this picture was a good story. there are plenty of stories to tell.
Team 4 aka team awesome................... "Yao" and "T-Mac" over and out
got NOLA?
9th ward reality (looks like something straight out of universal studios doesn't it?)
One of the best parts about the trip was being able to talk to people and hearing what happened to them as well as being able to pray for them and having them be super open to prayer. I met a woman whose house we were gutting and we brought out a bunch of books and about five Bibles. After looking at all the books and spilling all the nostalgia that the books brought, she only took up the Bibles to keep. She said "I need these." Do we really have to lose everything to recognize what the most important things are in life?
this picture was a good story. there are plenty of stories to tell.
Team 4 aka team awesome................... "Yao" and "T-Mac" over and out
got NOLA?
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
the best thing that's happened to me in a long time....
if you see me tuesdays and thursdays..remind me to eat lunch or it won't happen.
After grabbing some crispy chicken nuggets and a side salad at Wendy's late this evening, I started that long trek from Beauford H. Jester to the Perry Castaneda Library. Peeking into my Wendy's paper sack, I realized that I'd forgotten a fork and they'd forgotten to given me some honey mustard! The logical thing to do, hike back towards Jester. When I got to the Wendy's counter I kindly informed the woman attending to my needs that someone had failed to give me honey mustard. She smiled at me, turned around, got me some honey mustard and added 6 pieces of nuggets to my bag as bonus. At that moment I felt almost sure that my luck was beginning to change....
until I realized it was 12am and I hadn't started studying for the day yet. go me.
if you see me tuesdays and thursdays..remind me to eat lunch or it won't happen.
After grabbing some crispy chicken nuggets and a side salad at Wendy's late this evening, I started that long trek from Beauford H. Jester to the Perry Castaneda Library. Peeking into my Wendy's paper sack, I realized that I'd forgotten a fork and they'd forgotten to given me some honey mustard! The logical thing to do, hike back towards Jester. When I got to the Wendy's counter I kindly informed the woman attending to my needs that someone had failed to give me honey mustard. She smiled at me, turned around, got me some honey mustard and added 6 pieces of nuggets to my bag as bonus. At that moment I felt almost sure that my luck was beginning to change....
until I realized it was 12am and I hadn't started studying for the day yet. go me.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
a simple lesson reminded.....
looking out for number one is easy. loving people is hard to do.
how did He do it?
It's Amazing How You Love Me
I have searched the whole world over,
Looking for the things I thought would
fill my heart and ease my pain
I can climb the highest mountain,
Or sail beyond the seas,
And it always brings me back to you again.
It's amazing how you love me;
It's amazing how you care,
It's amazing how you're always thinking of me
All the time, everywhere
looking out for number one is easy. loving people is hard to do.
how did He do it?
It's Amazing How You Love Me
I have searched the whole world over,
Looking for the things I thought would
fill my heart and ease my pain
I can climb the highest mountain,
Or sail beyond the seas,
And it always brings me back to you again.
It's amazing how you love me;
It's amazing how you care,
It's amazing how you're always thinking of me
All the time, everywhere
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
food for thought......
When I approach Jester dining, I have a very strict J2 mentality. A rule of thumb I have is that I never check the menu before I go. Personally, I really enjoy that element of surprise when it comes to eating. Every visit to J2 is an adventure for me. I wonder why I can't have that same kind of mentality when it comes to my relationship with God.
Don't you ever wonder why God doesnt just answer your prayers? Or why he doesn't show some amazing sign of his presence when you look for him? Doesn't it just kill ya to know that God's answer to a lot of things is simply, wait or be patient? Sometimes I just want to know how situations will turn out or what God is going to do in a particular area. With God I feel like I always want to check the menu. Somehow it's just more comforting to have control in places that are beyond my control.
Stepping back for a moment it's probably best that I don't know everything that will happen in my life. How boring would it be to know everything that was going to happen. I know that some food they serve at J2 just isn't that appetizing and frankly if I knew what they were going to serve up there.... I wouldn't plan to visit. Just like if I knew a flower pot were to come falling down from the 14th floor of jester and crack my head open... I don't think I'd ever walk outside again.
But when the story unfolds I can think back and realize that God was a part of it the whole time. God's work is more evident when we don't know the future. Would we even care about what's happening now if we knew how things were going to turn out?
Although we may not know what the future holds, we know that God always has something we can appreciate at the end of the trail. It's just like J2. Maybe I dont really enjoy the food when I get up to the second floor but they always have ice cream and I definitely appreciate that.
When I approach Jester dining, I have a very strict J2 mentality. A rule of thumb I have is that I never check the menu before I go. Personally, I really enjoy that element of surprise when it comes to eating. Every visit to J2 is an adventure for me. I wonder why I can't have that same kind of mentality when it comes to my relationship with God.
Don't you ever wonder why God doesnt just answer your prayers? Or why he doesn't show some amazing sign of his presence when you look for him? Doesn't it just kill ya to know that God's answer to a lot of things is simply, wait or be patient? Sometimes I just want to know how situations will turn out or what God is going to do in a particular area. With God I feel like I always want to check the menu. Somehow it's just more comforting to have control in places that are beyond my control.
Stepping back for a moment it's probably best that I don't know everything that will happen in my life. How boring would it be to know everything that was going to happen. I know that some food they serve at J2 just isn't that appetizing and frankly if I knew what they were going to serve up there.... I wouldn't plan to visit. Just like if I knew a flower pot were to come falling down from the 14th floor of jester and crack my head open... I don't think I'd ever walk outside again.
But when the story unfolds I can think back and realize that God was a part of it the whole time. God's work is more evident when we don't know the future. Would we even care about what's happening now if we knew how things were going to turn out?
Although we may not know what the future holds, we know that God always has something we can appreciate at the end of the trail. It's just like J2. Maybe I dont really enjoy the food when I get up to the second floor but they always have ice cream and I definitely appreciate that.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
for these reasons
-Lincoln Brewster
For Your endless love
For the life You gave
For the second chance
For Your priceless grace
For Your healing hands
For the gift of peace
For the blessed hope
For the faith to believe
For these reasons I praise You
For these reasons I worship You
For these reasons I live to tell
of Your love to all the world
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
"Ever The Same"
Rob Thomas
We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now
Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down
Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same
We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end
You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love
Rob Thomas
We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now
Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down
Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same
We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end
You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
walking to class on a cold wednesday morning can be a blur sometimes. Except today something happened.
crossing 24th I spotted an Explorer which got too close to a parked car and ended up ripping off her own rearview mirror.... the other car, unscathed. ouch.
moral of the story, never drive down 24th early in the morning with a gas guzzling vehical when a million people are trying to cross the street.