Matthew 11:28 
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy
burdens, and I will give you rest. 
  

ANYWAY
 
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered:
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true
enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, they may cheat you;
Be forthright anyway.
What you spend years building, they may destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous and scornful;
Be joyous anyway.
The good you do today, they often will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it will never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them, anyway.

Anonymous

if you've talked to me this past semester you'll know that i think my African American families class is the most amazing thing in the world. I believe that everyone that has the opportunity to should definitely make time in their schedule to take that class, whether you feel like you know a lot or a little about people who are African American. I've learned so much about the African American culture, the people and myself.

a few weeks ago I read some really interesting articles about the effect of a predominantly White school system on Black students. The article was called "Family Life and School Experience: Factors in the Racial Identity Development of Black Youth in White Communities" by Beverly Daniel Tatum. The article depicted a study of several Black students and their experiences as students in White community schools. All of the students in the article end up going to a majority White university only to realize that they may have enjoyed their college experiences more if they'd gotten to go to an Black college. These thoughts were based on the different backgrounds of where the students had come from. There are two quotes that I think tie the article together well and I also think they give insight to my own racial identity.

"...these interviews suggest that what integrated Black students need is for their families to build a firm foundation for their developing racial identities."

"..it is important for Black students to explore same-race, as well as cross-race, friendships."

I really think that how families shape the mind of their children as well as the friendships that are developed over time affect your racial identity. When I first moved to Texas, I disliked the fact that all my friends were Asian Americans. Growing up on the west and being around people who weren't Asian most of the time felt very normal and the fact that I had all Asian friends felt very abnormal. It was almost embarrassing to go out and eat with a group of 20 Chinese people and receive some seemingly condescending glances. In fact, old friends that I grew up with would ask me if I was racist because there would be nothing but yellow faces in my pictures. Sometimes I would question, is it wrong?

After reading the article I saw how class conscious/race-avoidant African American parents put their children through a lot of toil because they didn't have a lot of opportunity to embrace the African American culture, which is so much more than BET and crude hip hop songs. Because of this lack of exposure or even fueling a desire to know their culture, many students became discontent and eventually wanted to get in touch with that part of their identity.

I realize now how blessed it is to be second generation Asian American. If you think about it, we are a people very rooted in our culture. We celebrate chinese new years, we relate to each other when we talk about taking off your shoes at the front door jokes, we understand those misconceptions that all Asians are hardcore academic freaks and everyone and their mothers think we're all smart, we know that it's not uncommon to grow up sort of bilingual, and we laugh when we've been put in ESL even though we were born in the states. We get each other because I think first generation immigrant parents make it an effort to expose us to our culture to almost force us to be rooted in our culture...whether that means 12 years of chinese school, suffering from being coerced to an adolescence of piano lessons, or even the pressures of coming out top in your class.

Pride is a good thing when comparison is not an issue and I've learned to be proud of being Asian. But at the same time I deeply enjoy the friendships that I have with those who are not Asians and that is also why I think it's not just important to be proud of who you are but also to invest in knowing others who don't share the commonalities of your ethnicity. Each culture has their own rich aspects that make this world so beautiful.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139: 14

God made us just as he intended; in his image and in his perfection.

New Orleans



9th ward reality (looks like something straight out of universal studios doesn't it?)

One of the best parts about the trip was being able to talk to people and hearing what happened to them as well as being able to pray for them and having them be super open to prayer. I met a woman whose house we were gutting and we brought out a bunch of books and about five Bibles. After looking at all the books and spilling all the nostalgia that the books brought, she only took up the Bibles to keep. She said "I need these." Do we really have to lose everything to recognize what the most important things are in life?





this picture was a good story. there are plenty of stories to tell.



Team 4 aka team awesome................... "Yao" and "T-Mac" over and out



got NOLA?

the best thing that's happened to me in a long time....


if you see me tuesdays and thursdays..remind me to eat lunch or it won't happen.

After grabbing some crispy chicken nuggets and a side salad at Wendy's late this evening, I started that long trek from Beauford H. Jester to the Perry Castaneda Library. Peeking into my Wendy's paper sack, I realized that I'd forgotten a fork and they'd forgotten to given me some honey mustard! The logical thing to do, hike back towards Jester. When I got to the Wendy's counter I kindly informed the woman attending to my needs that someone had failed to give me honey mustard. She smiled at me, turned around, got me some honey mustard and added 6 pieces of nuggets to my bag as bonus. At that moment I felt almost sure that my luck was beginning to change....


until I realized it was 12am and I hadn't started studying for the day yet. go me.

a simple lesson reminded.....


looking out for number one is easy. loving people is hard to do.



how did He do it?



It's Amazing How You Love Me

I have searched the whole world over,
Looking for the things I thought would
fill my heart and ease my pain
I can climb the highest mountain,
Or sail beyond the seas,
And it always brings me back to you again.

It's amazing how you love me;
It's amazing how you care,
It's amazing how you're always thinking of me
All the time, everywhere

food for thought......

When I approach Jester dining, I have a very strict J2 mentality. A rule of thumb I have is that I never check the menu before I go. Personally, I really enjoy that element of surprise when it comes to eating. Every visit to J2 is an adventure for me. I wonder why I can't have that same kind of mentality when it comes to my relationship with God.

Don't you ever wonder why God doesnt just answer your prayers? Or why he doesn't show some amazing sign of his presence when you look for him? Doesn't it just kill ya to know that God's answer to a lot of things is simply, wait or be patient? Sometimes I just want to know how situations will turn out or what God is going to do in a particular area. With God I feel like I always want to check the menu. Somehow it's just more comforting to have control in places that are beyond my control.

Stepping back for a moment it's probably best that I don't know everything that will happen in my life. How boring would it be to know everything that was going to happen. I know that some food they serve at J2 just isn't that appetizing and frankly if I knew what they were going to serve up there.... I wouldn't plan to visit. Just like if I knew a flower pot were to come falling down from the 14th floor of jester and crack my head open... I don't think I'd ever walk outside again.

But when the story unfolds I can think back and realize that God was a part of it the whole time. God's work is more evident when we don't know the future. Would we even care about what's happening now if we knew how things were going to turn out?

Although we may not know what the future holds, we know that God always has something we can appreciate at the end of the trail. It's just like J2. Maybe I dont really enjoy the food when I get up to the second floor but they always have ice cream and I definitely appreciate that.

for these reasons
-Lincoln Brewster

For Your endless love
For the life You gave
For the second chance
For Your priceless grace
For Your healing hands
For the gift of peace
For the blessed hope
For the faith to believe

For these reasons I praise You
For these reasons I worship You
For these reasons I live to tell
of Your love to all the world

currently taking recommendations for a pair of walking shoes.

requirements:
-lightweight
-comfortable
-good ventilation (is there a word for that?)
-not preposterously expensive
-durable (will last at least 9 weeks of wearing everday, walking over a mile a day)

to be continued.....

"Ever The Same"
Rob Thomas

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same

We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love

walking to class on a cold wednesday morning can be a blur sometimes. Except today something happened.

crossing 24th I spotted an Explorer which got too close to a parked car and ended up ripping off her own rearview mirror.... the other car, unscathed. ouch.

moral of the story, never drive down 24th early in the morning with a gas guzzling vehical when a million people are trying to cross the street.

So I'm taking a class called African American families. It basically talks about the history of how the African American family dynamic came to be and how society today affects it. We watched a really powerful film this past week about the images that have progressed throughout the centuries portraying African Americans. It was surprising to see how far from the truth the images were yet people who didn't know otherwise took these images as the only truth they knew about African Americans. With the change in politics was the change in images. One such example was the logo for the Aunt Jemima Pancake mix.



after watching the film it seemed that there was a correlation between media images of African Americans and Asian Americans. I remember when I took Asian American studies we learned about the different portrayals of Asian Americans and for the most part they were equally as false as the images of African Americans. Like how women were depicted as sexual beings and males, effeminate.

When we watch movies today, the previews before the movie often deal with the same genre as the one that you're about to watch. Yesterday when I was watching the previews to Last Holiday I noticed that a lot of the movies showed a lot of the stereotypes that we have today of African Americans. Everyone laughs and perhaps they're true but were they always true or has society fueled a particular image of the ethnic group that they're now living by because what we see is the only truth we know?

I thought it was interesting how my professor said that like the changing logos of Aunt Jemima due to changes in politics, racism has also evolved from how it once was but is still present today.

okay I admit that it's rather pleasant to be back. For some reason, one reminder that I've had several times in the past couple of days is that the fruit of everything you do springs from what you put into it. I'm beginning to see how that's playing out in this semester.

First semester you're excited, there's all the time in the world to do all the things you want to do. Second semester rolls around and time is beginning to close in on you and it's time to be very selective about the things that need to and can be accomplished.

Coming back I've realize there are so many things to look foward to this semester. So many things can turn these next several months into a tiresome semester or an exciting one. Let's hope it's the latter. Once again, it all has to do with what we put into it right?

Hopefully I can take after my mom and gain a good sense of balance in my life.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13

We've all heard this verse before but I honestly believe that keeping to the simple facts we know, will prevent our forgetfulness from bitting us in the butt later. It's easy to learn something but even easier to forget it. Hopefully college really does hone our minds =)

stuff I'm craving right now
-sushi
-chinese sausage
-bing with tong yuen
-chai tea latte
-peanut sauce salad
-clementines (currently satisfying this craving)

what I wish I'd done over break
-watched more movies
-read more books
-played with sister more
-talked with my mom more
-gone to sleep earlier
-cleaned my room better
-reorganize my closet
-seen my roommate
-more resourceful with my summer profits
-hung out with more people I can't see in Austin
-done more crafts

what I'm glad I did over break
-ate Korean bbq
-watched The Game with equally if not more ethusiastic longhorn fans
-ate a lot of food
-saw many cool people
-hung out with really awesome girls
-played football
-read a decent amount
-spent a week with my sister
-good conversations with my parents
-phone calls
-college fellowship
-everything that I did

What I'm looking foward to this Spring
-hanging out with my roommate
-hanging out with my small group girls
-hanging out with people I've been meaning to hang out with
-getting up at 8am every morning
-reading
-learning stuff
-p.o.p
-spring break
-OA class
-Jester shower power
-seeing suitemates everyday
-playing games
-running into people btwn classes
-....and the list goes on.

"Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalms 90:12

dance around the throne.....

so I was buying apples the other day when i came across the tag "Yakima, WA." Felt sudden nostalgia for the place. When I talk about Washington, most peoples' first assumption is that I'm talking about D.C. Then the second assumption is that I'm from Seattle. In my case, neither of those are true. Most people have probably never heard of Yakima so I was lonely in my acknowledgement of Gala apples being from that place.

There are some days that I really miss being a washingtonian. I like the fact that you can always find cheap skiing and find snow when you want in the winter. I loved living in a small town and having almost nothing and finding great joy in everything that we didnt have. It was awesome how good Chinese food was always a luxury. I liked how driving on the highway wasn't that difficult. Possibly a town they would film "The Simple Life" in =P

I think it's logical to desire simplicity as you age because the aging process often brings more complications. There's also the romantic homeland complex. There's a tendency to romanticize the places you were from. When you leave one home for another the image of that place remains constant, untainted by the changes that the progression of time brings. Maybe that explains why coming home for long periods of time feels like two worlds are colliding. good thing bad thing?

most common recently asked question, "ready to go back to school?" I can't ever imagine my answer being yes. I love everything about being home. This break has had many highlights and dimlights but I know I could always use more break. However, I have much to look foward to in this Spring semester.

Rescue
Jared Anderson

You are the source of life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will lay hold of you

I need you Jesus to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you

This world has nothing for me
I will follow you

a creative title for first entry of 2006.............


I've broken another tradition..yet again. In the past I was in the habit of updating resolutions the 2nd day of the year. I can't even remember what happened this year.

Reflections of 2005? It was an amazing year filled with a lot of reality. A lot of change happened that kinda grayed my hair but I guess that happens when you grow up right?

So the first of this year I was thinking about resolutions. A common thought is that making new years resolutions is silly. Sure, maybe you won't always fulfill them but I think that it gives some direction for a new year. Seriously, every new year really sneaks up on me. I thought the world would end after 2004...never imagined life after it...and now it's '06.
I was reading Genesis 26 that day and it talked about Isaac and his people facing a famine. Three things in particular stuck out to me that contributed to my resolutions. The first thing was how Isaac said that Rebekah (his wife) was his sister just like Abraham did with Sarah. Both lied in fear for their lives. The second event that stuck out was how Isaac, like Abraham became extremely wealthy but people envied him; unlike Abraham who was wealthy and spread his wealth with Lot and dispersed. The third thing that stuck out to me was when some men said to Isaac "We saw clearly that the LORD was with you" (vs. 28).

So about that Isaac and Rebekah thing. I find it interesting how history of Abraham's actions (mistake?) repeat itself with Isaac. That reminds me of how often lessons that God teaches us hits us hard in the face. I realize that certain realizations have that effect because we have an inclination to forget what we learn. So this year I want to be more conscious of the things God teaches me so that I won't forget so often and feel like I get slapped everytime.

As for Isaac's wealth. I feel like when we're Christians...we have a lot of wealth. Whether it's the wealth of having that huge banquet in heaven, the simple blessings or even the life lessons we're enlightened with. What good is all that if we hoard and not share with others? I know I let plenty of opportunities slip to share of just a bit of the wealth I possess. It's also come to my realization that God has place many opportunities in the future for me to stop hoarding the wealth...now I guess it's up to me to see what I do with it all. It always comes down to what we do with the good news we possess doesnt it? I feel like God is always waiting for us....when we think we're waiting for him...he's already met us where we're at.

For the last event...I guess the verse just really stuck out to me. ".....We saw clearly that the LORD was with you...." (vs. 28). Isn't that how God's children should be living? I've heard too many times that Christians are no different from nice people. I know I disappoint God with my actions often so that verse was a really good reminder of how to live. So hopefully this year will come with the knowledge of how to live in such a way that others see clearly that the Lord is with me.

somehow thoughts aren't flowing as eloquently through my mind this year. Does two decades really take a toll on the mind and body?

I wish you all a fulfilling 2006.

I can't believe it's.....


CHRISTMAS

merry Christmas =)

my friends...a long and toilsome week.....

what a joy to finally be able to say "I'm going home tomorrow!" I've been waiting all week to say that. However, the impending thought of having to study and OWN one last exam lingers on the forefront of my thoughts. The droopy eyelids and aching shoulders don't help with that.

Yesterday during service I learned why it's important to anticipate things.
The process of anticipation is a means of preparation.

I'm anticipating tomorrow when I'll finally get to go home cuz I know I'll be totally prepared to enjoy a stupendous winter break.


something I wrote about two years ago that I often forget...


So i know this big guy. He's easy to talk to and He's a great listener. Whenever i'm in trouble He always lays a hand on my shoulders and tells me that everything will be ok, cuz He knows how to make it right. He likes to challenge me in my life to help me become a stronger more faithful person and because He loves me more than any other person in the entire world, I welcome the trials, tribulations, and blessings of each day. In my confusion He makes everything so clear for me. In my frustrations He knows how to calm my inner being. When i ask for patience, He gives me the excat remedy i need. If i ask him for anything, i just gotta believe that he'll grant my request and it shall be given to me because He knows what i need. The one thing i never regret is falling in love with Him. I bet you know Him too.

forever with you ever the same......

I was sitting in philosophy discussion this past friday listening about postmodernism when I received an answer to some questions I've been having lately. A while back I was talking to a friend about what it means to be a child of God. In a book that I've been reading the answer is that we make conscious decisions... but is that really it?

I was listening to our discussion on postmodernism when my TA told us that he doesnt believe in the existence of people due to his insane research for his disertation. By then our discussion was so out of hand it was rather overwhelming. At that point I realized that part of being a child of God is having a child like faith. Some of the most complicated situations are answered by the most simple things. In our minds we have so many convoluted questions and the answer is often yes, no or wait. I think it's the sins in our lives that makes the little problems in our lives such a big deal. When we come to terms with life issues...the answers are often found in one word or something simple...an answer that even a child could tell you.

we may become more intellegent as we age but that could also mean we grow further from being a child of God. So what they say was right...we did learn everything necessary for life when we were in kindergarten.

once in a lifetime....

time to do my blog some justice....and what better way to do that than to share about my dearest mother.

if opposites attract that would be my mom and dad. dont get me wrong there are many things they have in common...but if it weren't for my mom, I think a lot of stuff that my dad likes now, he wouldn't enjoy so much if it weren't for my mom.

my mom and I don't always meet eye to eye but she's definitely right beside my dad as my most favorite people in the world. why you might ask...


a few things about my mom that I really love about her...and sometimes dislike at the same time.

she is....

honest: I'm not sure if this is the right word. Maybe blunt cuts it better. If you want a mouth that doesn't know sugar coated words....that's my mom. I think my mom's honesty has shaped a lot of my personality. I can always count on my mom to give me an honest opinion about anything I ask her. She's a great distinguisher of nonsense and meaningful things. When I was younger I use to think it was a really annoying quality about my mom but the older I get, the more I realize that it's a sign of her wisdom and I'm growing to appreciate this aspect of her.

passionate: My mom knows what she likes. Next to her family is her love for tennis. She's probably twice as good as most men her age and she's completely dedicated to playing the sport. I had to remind her that her shoulder was injured to keep her from playing tennis....but it was probably the fear of never being able to play again that kept her from the sport. I really admire this about her. It's life-enriching to have something to be passionate about whether it's a sport, a food or your faith. She's a good example of what it means to truly pursue something.

balanced: I think this is something that's easily lacking in our lives. Not so with my mom. She values working hard as much as she does resting. I'm not sure if it's possible but sometimes I feel like my mom sleeps as much as she works. She's by far the most hard working person I know of. Whatever she does, she does to the best of her ability that she knows how to. When she comes home she doesnt like to talk about work. Her favorite past times are reading, watching tv and amusing the family. My mom shows me that it's possible to lead a very balanced life and it's often necessary.

cheers to the best mom in the world.