finally updated spring break pictures....

spring break 2005

i want to know the reason why.........


while volunteering today, one little girl expressed a very interesting answer to the question.


teacher: okay, what is pollution

*several kids raise their hands and teacher calls on a little girl*

teacher: yes *insert name*

*insert name*: pollution is passing gas

*giggles from the volunteers*

teacher: I know that when you pass gas it smells really bad, but that is not pollution, thanks for answering.


so remember....every time you pass gas, you are not polluting the air....no matter how bad it smells.

God made dirt so dirt wont hurt.........

so think about something you really like to eat. for many, it's a bar of rich, delicious chocolate. There are times when you really want chocolate. You sit in class you think about eating chocolate, you go to CVS during their 70% off candy sale to find all the chocolate bars are gone, you want your chocolate. It's constantly on your mind and you think about all these ways to get your chocolate. But God doesnt want you to eat chocolate because it'll give you cavities. Even though you know chocolate will spoil your appetite, give you cavities, and sometimes make a mess around your mouth, you still want it. I think that within all of us is this burning desire for things that we know are bad for us. Not only that, but we also want those things that we know we can't ever have....like that 70% chocolate from the CVS sale that was all sold out. but sometimes, even though you want your chocolate, if you save your money, you can get something even better....like haribo gummy bears. it's not always about what we give up, but what we gain that really counts.

wandering down this road that we call life........

yesterday I had lunch with a cool person that made me think about a lot of things that are important to me in my life. By talking to her, I was able to digest some of the thoughts that have provoked my mind as a result of the courses I've taken. This past semester I've been learning to form my own opinions about controversial worldly matters as well as issues on faith and servanthood. Through the influence of my classes and people that I've talked to I've been building a passion for things that I use to never care so much about. The greatest impact in my life this year would be the classes that I've taken.

When I first came to college, I knew that God wanted me to focus on my academics for a reason. I figured it was probably because God has given me intellect that I hadn't fully utilized in the past so now was the chance to redeem myself. Contrary to my thinking, the classes I've taken have challenged my faith as well as changed my view of the world and has made me more sensative to issues I've often overlooked.

I often think about what I can offer to the social work profession. All of the students in social work seem to have some kind of life experience to offer. They've either been in the face of oppression or really suffered through some traumatizing childhood times. God's goodness in my life has been so undeserving and although that is a good thing, I'm often left with a feeling of inadequacy when it comes to pursuing the social work profession. I love people but is that enough?
Despite my doubts, I love how social work has kind of reconfigured my mind. The relationship that I have with my major works in conjuction to my relationship with God. Social work is an area that fights for justice and God has a heart for justice. In that sense, I feel that justice is a link between the social work profession and God's character.

If I say that I've gained nothing from all the toil and seemingly pointless school work I've engaged myself in this first year of college, it would be a lie. After yesterday, I've come to see that I have a moral responsibility to my future social work career, to the future populations I will serve, and to the clients I'll encounter. That moral responsibility starts now-- with my academics. Working hard in school and striving to learn all that college has to offer proves to my profession that I've put forth efforts to get where I will be when I'm a professional. If I'm going to be a social worker, shouldn't I strive to be the best one that I can be? God is providing the resources right now for me to best serve Him and his creation both as a student and later in life.

In a nutshell....I had a really empowering lunch yesterday =)

a cool prayer.....

got this in a email and it really exemplified the things in my heart and maybe it will speak to you too.

I kneel in Your presence Lord knowing that You are my creator, Father and protector.

I give thanks for the gifts of Your Son and Holy Spirit whom are always there for me with their love, trust, guidance, patience and forgiveness.

I give thanks for all that I have and all that You have given
me, especially your love and the many earthly gifts and blessings you have bestowed upon me.

I pray especially for my family and friendships.

I thank you also for my spiritual gifts and talents and for the opportunity You have given me to use them.

I am grateful for Your peace and for the places You have provided for me to be myself. I pray that You will help others come to know Your peace and grace.

I ask for Your help with all the things that keep me from being all that I should.

Please help me to be more patient and allow me to keep the right attitude.

Please give me strength I need to control my temper and to be more tolerant of others.

Please stay with me Lord and help me to grow in faith and trust you more and the world less.

Please show me how to balance my time better and be less selfish.

Please be with me and help me to take the opportunities to serve others.

I ask for Your forgiveness for my offenses, especially for those times when I mistreat my family, betray a confidence, am dishonest, impatient or judgmental.

I confess thatI don't always put enough trust in You and find myself led astray by the physical world and I am truly sorry.

These prayers and petitions I asked in the name of Your son, Jesus, my Savior. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Amen

lately I feel like God has really been speaking to me through song. so im gonna share this song with you although I've posted it before. I think it's a song that we can all relate to. We don't know what is going to happen but we have been witnesses as well as read what God has done in the past and we know the character of God and what he's all about. We may not know the future, but we know who holds the future.


You are the author of knowledge
You can redeem what's been done
You hold the present and all that's to come
Until your everlasting kingdom

Lord, I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

You are the God of tomorrow
Turning the darkness to dawn
Lifting the hopeless with hope to go on
You are the rock of all salvation

Lord, I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

Oh, Lord, you are the author
Redeeming what's been done
You hold us in the present
And all that is to come

Lord, we don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead us to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

Lord I Don't Know........Newsboys

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.......Isaiah 53: 5-6

Sometimes I feel like Easter is like watching tragedies in the news. I remember in hotel Rwanda the main character was so excited when he found out the reporters were going to put the conditions of Rwanda in the news because he thought people would do something to help the genocide. To his dismay the reporter said that yea, people watching this news would think that what was happening in Rwanda was terrible and tragic, but that would be just it. They would think that it was a horrible thing and then move on. Similarly, Easter, we remember Christ, we remember his death and resurrection, and we remember that his blood was shed for us, we remember God's loving sacrifice... but that's just it. We remember, we know what happened, but what will we do with what we know? What can we do with Christ's death and resurrection? Will we live out what we know? Will we show others what it means?

Jesus' death is something amazing. It shook the Earth and took away the sins of everyone....forever

dead bolt.....

bloggerers get the shaft. no one likes blogger anymore. it's become the grandparent of weblogs. there's a saying in canton "sun see hang." literally translated it means new poop gutter. that's how I view xanga. most people always tend to like the new stuff...history never seems to change that. my, the challenges of remaining faithful to blogger. i find it amazing that people comment on my xanga which I do not update...commenting.....expecting me to update. shame on you.

spring break has been amazing. aside from the heat rash and allergy attack everything has been good.

The upperclassmen were right. They're right a lot of the time. They were all wise and didn't bring home any books. I tell myself that I'll do my work (I honestly think about doing work) and even if I just stare at my books, at least I have the option of opening them up... I believe that's what really counts! haha...true words of a freshman huh? One day I will be liberated from the bondage of my textbooks....and not bring them home with me on breaks. someday.....someday.

man....why is korean food so good? we went out to eat korean food tonight and i ate like my family hasn't fed me since i was born. My sister had sucha good time eating that she threw up all over the table. we had so much food on the table it was nuts. I dont think I'll ever eat again.....well until breakfast tomorrow. gosh I love to eat. I wish God made me with a bottomless stomach....so I could just eat and eat and eat and eat.

currently my mood is: Nothing Without You (Bebo Norman). The song pretty much sums it up.

live it up t-minus 2 days of break remaining.

Bebo Norman - Nothing Without You
From the album Try

Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to praise You near enough
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out
Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Chorus:
All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You

Take my body and build it up
May it be broken as an offering of love
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
But I love You With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
And all the strength I can find

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
I have nothing

Take my time here on earth
And let it glorify all that You are worth
For I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing without You

where to next........


SPRING BREAK! the wildest time of the year.......in south padre

After a long week I am home. Along the way I've encountered some interesting things. I was studying in the piano lounge monday and I ran into this guy that was playing Coldplay pieces on the piano. About an hour of struggling through the pieces (by no means played poorly) he asked me to sing to one of the songs so he could make sure he was playing it right. Since we were the only two in the lounge it was kinda weird, but somehow it sounded like a good alternative to five hours of staring at my course packet. This act was probably the most far out thing I've done in a really long time. It was fun. I must say that singing is therapeutic. maybe that's why people sing in the shower.
Then the both of us go back to studying and this other guy walks into the lounge and he starts blarring classical music really loud with those monster head phones on. Then the coldplay guy goes back to the piano and plays a different song. The monster head phone guy goes up to coldplay guy and asks him how long he's been playing. Coldply guy responds that he has only been playing for TWO WEEKS! this guy was seriously amazing to have been playing for two weeks...but apparently he said his choir background did him some good with the quick self-taught piano skills. simply amazing.

Thursday was the best day ever. All my homework done. Prof Shorkey wasnt there but Prof Grant (whom I've heard many great things about) came to speak in our sw312 class. I think it was meant to be motivational or something...because she totally got me motivated. I think after her whole speech/ lesson, what have you, I was totally excited about going to my sw313 research class. If you've asked me about research class before, I can tell you that it's not that exciting. But as a result of prof Grant I can honestly say I have a deeper appreciation for that area of social work. I'd always known that research is a field essential to social work in order that you can better serve your clients' needs, or just to see if therapy is effective....but I dont feel I learn much from the class. But as I always say, it's a matter of perspective. I'm glad she come to my class and shared sucha firey passion for social work, definitely every little freshmans' encouragement to dig dipper into the field, to be challenged, and to see what we'll be up against.

This week has seriously taken a toll on my old age. I think it's time to just sit back relax and sleep without an alarm to wake me up. party hardy over break? you know it...me and my textbooks kicking it back.

anywhere but here........

some people think deep thoughts before they sleep. some people think deep thoughts when they shower. some people think deeps thoughts when they take a poo. where do you think deep thoughts?


ny job here is done....now i must study.

Cry in My Heart
-Starfield

artist note: "Honesty is all God wants from us. More than our attention, more than our money, more than our time...God is looking for honest responses to the challenges of scripture and the still small voice that reverberates within everyone that knows him. Cry in my heart is my attempt to be honest...truly honest...It's a simple prayer from the heart of a God chaser that struggles with unbelief and doubt...That wants substance, depth and clarity...that has seen and tasted great things – yet still yearns for more...for lasting...for real."

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head

running on 36 hours......

watched the movie Ray tonight. Enjoyable, but long. There's something about African American culture that intrigues me. There's something inspirational about the music, about the history, and about the people. Thinkng about African American culture reminds me of the past and how they are an example of hard-hit racism in the U.S. That thought always reminds me that racism isn't over. The fight isn't won. All around me, I hear the remarks and the jokes. I'm guilty of them too. We have become desensitized to the derogatory racist remarks and jesting. A speaker came to one of my classes once and they said that when you don't think something is right, dont encourage it, speak up against it. Will you stop your friend the next time they say something offensive about a group of people?

Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time.
- Chinese Proverb

So now I will tell you the story of my life. Last night I went to sleep the same time I would have gotten up in the morning for school in 9th grade to catch a bus. After casually strolling to class, I arrived at my glorious seat in "class that I can never remember the name of." Listened to several geneology presentations, as well as my professor going off on his soap box for 50 minutes(like every other tuesday and thursday), at the same time studying for the next class. Despite my complete lack of energy, I manage to complete my 50 question test with time to spare and retreat to my room. After a good 50 minutes, I trekked up that wicked hill to GAR. Many thoughts plowed through my head as we discussed "Rabbit in the Moon" but my apathy left me with no remarks and my professors assumption that I "had not viewed the movie," a flaw in the discussion system. Brain dead, I made my jolly way back to Jester and decided it would be wise to treat myself to a nice hot cappuccino, acknowledging that no immedate results come from caffeine consumption. Returning to my room, I immediately plopped into my bed, but no deep slumber came. The cappuccino had worked....and I couldn't fall asleep. The good news? I watched Full House =) haha...did you think I would be sharing something juicy about my life? Having Justine as my roomie is about as juicy as it gets. hehe....*slaps knee*

that's all folks.

life as a sigh........

It's nice to do some writing that gives me a degree of freedom. I've finally been liberated from my five page paper that I stupidly thought was single spaced. Doh. But praise God that it was double spaced or I would have injured myself writing it.

Yesterday, as I was catching up with reading for sociology, I finally read about the 6 degrees of connection. Apparently, something like every sixth person you know allows you to be connected to the rest of the world. I'm always saying that "we're all connected." Now my studies have confirmed this assertion. Just the other weekend, I was talking to someone about who they live with in their appartment and they told me it was their cousin whom I didnt know. The next day I get into the car of this new person that I met from my volunteer place and that was the cousin. talk about small world. Then a while after that, I'm eating at tap house with some of the cool older gals and we run into Toral ....and it turns out that Ruth is her neighbor...who would have thought? So remember everyone is only six degrees from knowing the world =)

I need a professional massage therapist. Ever wake up with a tight neck and back? Yeah...I miss how Isabel use to walk all over my back when she was a baby. I think she's a little too big for that now. She wrote me a letter to tell me she loves me and that she likes it when I bring subway sandwiches to her when I'm home for the holidays. You know, I love being the older sister. Big sisters totally rock.

Remember.......

"For God so loVed the world,

That He gAve

His onLy

BegottEn

SoN

That whosever

Believeth In Him

Should Not perish,

But have Everlasting life."

John 3:16

coincidence? I think not =)

eye of the beholder......

funny how i was naive enough to believe I'd get anything done in this relaxation haven know as my house. Besides all the new years hustle and bust (for those of you who didn't know, chinese new years is actually 15 days long) I haven't really been doing anything productive. I've been taking advantage of wireless internet (which I have back in my room in Austin also). I walk around the house attempting to write a paper on some Asian American topic only to realize that I no longer remember how to write a thesis. How was it I was once able to conjure up a thesis in the time span of one class period? I sit in my living room staring at my computer monitor dumb-founded, unable to make any progress on my paper. sad sad sad....oh what have I become?

I must say that being home in the presence of my family (and chinese food) definitely makes up for my lack of productivity, not to say that such behavior is excused. Whenever I'm at home I always fall asleep without ever remembering I did so. I woke up this morning at around 8 still dressed in the previous days clothing. I recall that occurring quite frequently in high school. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that the home is no longer a place that I can do work in. Coming home is a luxury time of relaxation. Though it is probably in vain that I'm going to attempt to write my paper (after a cat nap...which might last up to 4 hours) it's hardly any trouble to at least try. Afterall, I can't really put my finger on what else there is to do right now, but I know that in this place, I can undoubtedly find something. And the fact that Sunday is the sabbath doesnt really help...after 6 days of toiling after school....I need a nice long break right?

To those of you studious people out there cheers.

i wanna scream at the top of my lungs.......

so lately I've had a lack of inspiration to write for reasons I have yet to discover. A possible answer to this mystery is that I've been watching too much tv. Full House has captured my full attention. It's such a lighthearted show, definitely contrary to the drama of the popular shows today (watched one tree hill tonight....*sigh* ....such a good show gone sour). In some ways, watching Full House is therapeutic for me. After a long day of class, I come back to my room and just lounge arounge, sprawled blobbishly on my bed, switch on the idiot box, and participate in a mindless activity. It is that one hour of tv a day that I cheerish. Ohh...and I watched so much tv today that I even caught Usher on entertainment tv. He's a funny guy...hope to see him in person one of these days....though that may never happen..... the cd will have to suffice for now.

I had a God moment a while back. Actually it was the time of my last post. After my introspection about what it means to be called by God, I prayed and flipped open my devotional and Bible. In my mind I half expected to receive an answer from God that night. To my surprise, that was precisely what happened. The title of my devotion that night was "The Compelling Force of the Call." It's the little incidents like these that refresh my questioning mind. Whenever my heart is heavy I know the Father has answers for me. I also received some emails which I've posted on the "you've got mail" link over to the right. If I dont post here, I most likely post at that site.

I'm tired and about to go to the dean to ask for a vacation, but duty calls and reading is an endless cycle of life currently...it's funny how God answers prayers....I asked to read more and now the reading just wont go away...so now I must go attend to life =)

when the going gets tough the tough gets going.......

so my wonderful roomie and I were having a very interesting conversation and we came across an interesting question.

What does it mean to say "God is calling me to do such and such?" Some people hear God's voice and that seems like the literal definition of being "called," but what about the other people who don't hear his voice audibly? I feel like I've tossed that term in the air quite a bit, and while I'm convicted that I receive callings to do things, what does that really mean? Somehow, it seems like a phrase used to describe this unexplainable emotion or feeling which leads to a conviction or determination to execute some action.

Like Justine said to me, learning what it means to be called by God is a life-long process that we'll discover. I doubt there's a right answer for that. Afterall, God does speak to us in different ways under different circumstances. We just have to listen and obey.

AACM Talent Show
Sunday, Jan. 30th, 2005
8:00pm Union Ballroom
Art show in the Quadrangle Room 7:00pm

Benefiting International Justice Mission